Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 91423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
He lowers his head and grazes his teeth along the side of my neck.
“That’s some of what I would have said to you if you’d talked to me before you decided to run. I would have told you that you had a place with us, that there was no way to run away from us really, and to reason to either. But you wouldn’t have listened.”
“I thought you were all too good for me,” I say. “I still do. I’ve caused more trouble… ow!”
My sentence ends in a yelp as he bites down swiftly on the side of my neck.
“You’ve caused us no trouble at all,” he says. “You came into our lives like a fucking angel delivering us from grief. You led us to the man who needed to die. You gave yourself to us. We love you. All of us. We were never going to be able to have typical marriages. How would that have worked? We would have had to lie constantly to these women, hidden who we really were, what we really did…”
“A lot of guys do that kinda recreationally,” I point out.
“I like that I am everything I am with you,” he says. “I like that Aiden is who he is, and Leo is who he is, and Teddy was who he was. You’re someone who makes us all whole. You’re a universal key to our hearts. The fact that you could ever run, ever think we don’t need you, ever think you were anything less than everything to us is unforgivable. And the sin is ours, because you should never have felt that way.”
Tears run down my cheeks. I can’t help them. I thought this was a seduction, but Luke has just declared his love so eloquently I can barely stand the feelings that are welling up inside me.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“I thought you were going to ravage me, not tell me your feelings,” I sniff.
Luke smirks at me and cups my face, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “You’d have preferred it if I’d whipped your ass, I bet,” he says. “That would have been easier for you.”
“Shut up,” I mutter. He’s right. Physical pain would have been less disturbing to my equilibrium than this declaration of love that makes me feel weak and helpless and so fucking vulnerable. “It was my fault.”
“It was never your fault,” he says. “Whatever role you played it was one of survival. None of us blame you. None of us fault you.”
“But you should,” I whimper.
“And now I really do want to thrash you,” he growls. “Because these things have been said to you over and over and yet you insist on not hearing them. Trust me, Ella. I know something about taking responsibility. I’ve been locked away until I learned how to do it. And you are taking too much. You were being used, and you were being abused, and Teddy tried to intervene but the game being played was bigger than he knew…”
“And that’s happening again!” I wail, now outright crying. “As soon as one evil man was dead, another appeared to take his place, and now Leo has a hole in his stomach, and we are all hiding, and Aiden is going to have to… I don’t even know what he’s going to do, but I know I was the way in again. I was the door that they came through. I’m attached to evil.”
“Glued, or sewn?” Luke deadpans the question, his expression softening as he strokes my hair back from my tearstained face. “Evil will always try to corrupt and use good. It’s how it functions. It’s the only way it can feed, because unlike you, it cannot make its own energy. It doesn’t emit light the way you do. Ella, you were a beacon in the darkness, and probably, yes, the darkness in my brothers is attracted to you for less than savory reasons, but healthy people know how to mix their dark and light drives together…” He frowns at me. “Am I making sense, or is this just a kind of completely impenetrable metaphysical blather to you?”
“No, I get it, I think,” I sniff. “You’re saying I’m a lightbulb, and evil people are moths and also badness can be sexy, but only when it’s not totally fucking depraved, and when it’s tempered with love.”
“That’s exactly what I am trying to say,” he smiles. “We love you. We all know we love you, each in our own way, each with our own capacities and abilities. And no two of us are going to be the same in how that feels, but we all mean it. I know we do. I know when we found you gone, the first thing all three of us wanted to do was find you at any cost. And when I had to shoot Leo…” He pauses.