Total pages in book: 177
Estimated words: 178117 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 891(@200wpm)___ 712(@250wpm)___ 594(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 178117 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 891(@200wpm)___ 712(@250wpm)___ 594(@300wpm)
Every step slowly feels more and more like a blur. Like I’m not really here.
My mind is still at the party on that cliff, with her glossy eyes staring right back at mine wondering why I didn’t come sooner to save her.
I get into the car, and it drives for what feels like hours and hours until we finally arrive at our destination.
The room where the service is held is boring, white, too pristine, and clean, with only some bundled flowers left and right of the casket to provide some happiness to the otherwise dull affair.
Eve would have hated it.
She was always so happy and shined like the sun, radiant and full of color.
She was the complete opposite of me, but it’s also why I loved her so much … and why I miss her more than anything.
The dark wood of the casket burns into my retina as I stare at the place her corpse rests.
So peaceful and mundane, unlike her death.
My heart aches.
My mother cries beside me, and I try not to let it get to me, but it’s hard knowing what she’s lost.
It’s almost impossible to cry with all these people around me. I feel like they’re all staring at my back, wondering if I’m going to say anything after my father speaks about her in front of the pulpit.
But I wouldn’t know what to say to these people except fuck you for driving my sister insane.
Because I know her peers are here watching us.
Pretending to mourn with us.
They are the cause of her misery.
I know because she tucked a book underneath my door the night she died. In it, she wrote about all her wishes, dreams, secrets, and truths.
All the shit she’d been through.
And all the people responsible for it.
I keep it close to my heart.
As the service finishes, everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
Some sad music plays, and one by one, people come forward to pay their respects to both the casket as well as us.
Then the casket is moved outside, and we all follow the hearse to the cemetery.
While everyone has gathered around a hole in the ground, my sister is slowly lowered inside like a deathtrap.
Horrifying.
I hate it.
I hate that I have to stand here and watch Eve be buried without even a semblance of justice.
What can I do?
Nothing. It’s too late.
Too late to save her.
I close my eyes and blink away the tears as well as the invading memories.
This guilt will eat me alive one day.
My mother hands me a rose. When it’s my turn, I throw it on top of the casket, a last goodbye to the sister I didn’t want to lose and who was too young to die.
I glance over my shoulder so no one in front of me will see me cry.
But the tears refuse to come when I see three boys standing behind one of the large trees in the cemetery.
The same three guys I saw at the bonfire the night she died.
Felix, Dylan, and Alistair.
Guys who wouldn’t give a care in the world about anyone dying.
Yet they’re here, unafraid.
It’s a message.
The wind blows through my purple hair, and I tuck a strand behind my ear, never breaking eye contact.
I want them to know I saw them.
And I want them to know I will never give up.
I will never stop finding the reason for her death.
And if they’re here, it only means one thing.
They know something I don’t.
And I’ll find out what exactly it is.
Even if it costs me my fucking soul.
PENELOPE
Present
After my classes for the day are over, I make my way to the gardens outside. Kayla asked me in a message to meet her there. I can already see her sitting on a plaid blanket in the grass with a bunch of other students, casually sipping their drinks and eating their food.
When I get close enough, Kayla waves. “Hey, Pen, you finally made it.” She pats the plaid blanket next to her. “Come sit.”
I sit down beside her and introduce myself to the rest of the group. “Hi, I’m Penelope. You can call me Pen.”
“Hey, Pen,” the girl next to Kayla says. “I’m Crystal. Nice to meet you too. You must be her new roommate, right?”
The boys opposite of me give me a hand. “Hey, I’m Jeremy.”
“And my name is Calvin.”
I eagerly shake their hands.
“This is our little group,” Kayla says. “We eat lunch here together almost every day.” She takes a bite of her sandwich. “Did you bring something?”
“Yeah,” I reply, and I pull out my own sandwich that I made in a hurry this morning at my parents’ house before I arrived here. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, all smooshed up. I should really check out the cafeteria here.
“So Kayla told me you switched schools,” Jeremy says.
“Yeah, this university was actually my preferred university,” I explain even though it’s a lie I made up on the spot. “So I made a last-minute switch.”