Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 127390 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127390 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
For now, the club was something to guarantee he’d exist tomorrow. A purpose. Even if it was shrouded in criminal acts and bloodshed.
Cody been a friend of the club since he’d started working in their garage at sixteen. Beyond that, Cade and Bull were two of his closest friends, and they were already patched in.
Cody already considered their Prez, Steg, to be a father figure, a mentor of sorts. A mentor who was in charge of a deadly chapter of the notorious one percenter MC, who looked scarier than all hell and always carried a gun.
There had been no question where the party was going to be held. Evie, the matriarch and wife of the president of the MC, had decided it would be at the clubhouse, since she always made the decision with things like this.
“It’s a reason to celebrate,” she’d countered when I’d tried to argue that it was too much. “Fuck knows we need to hold on to those. So we’re havin’ it here. Don’t want to hear more shit about it.”
So I gave her no more shit.
To say my mother was horrified was an understatement.
We didn’t talk for three weeks after I’d announced my engagement. She’d invited both Cody and I over for dinner, though, I got the feeling that the dinner was not at all her idea. My father rarely tried to tell my mother what to do about much, but when it came to me, he always put his foot down.
I was sure he wasn’t exactly thrilled that I was staying in Amber and marrying Cody, especially with him prospecting. My father likely wanted a steadier life for me. Safer. But he wouldn’t say anything.
“Don’t you want to know?” Cody asked, jerking me back to the moment. The moment consisting of us standing in our bedroom in my bungalow. Cody had moved in. It hadn’t been stated officially, but there was no question about that. There were plenty of questions and arguments about were regarding him taking over the rent. I knew he wasn’t going to earn anything being a prospect, which would take up most of his time. He’d work part-time at the garage, but I didn’t want him spending all his money on the rent when I had enough for it. Cody had alpha maled his way out of the argument, telling me about money he’d earned the past five years. He didn’t say how he’d gotten the money, and I didn’t ask.
I frowned at him. “Do I want to know what?”
“All the terrible things I did when I was gone,” he said. “Horrific. Monstrous. That’s what I am now, Lizzie. Especially since I did all of those things, became this person, then I came back to you. Couldn’t even do you the honor of leaving you alone, letting you live a life that isn’t tainted.”
My eyes watered, my heart shattered. He was still like this from time to time. Full of self-hatred. Full of anger at himself. I tried my best to fight against it, even if my best was just loving him. But it hurt. It killed me to see him like this, knowing there was nothing I could really do. Just wait and hope his wounds would heal. Scab over. Turn into scars.
I reached up to cup his face. He still had the beard. He’d trimmed it a little for the wedding, but he’d kept it. Like it was part of the mask he’d been wearing since he got back because he was afraid I’d run away from what he’d turned into.
“You can tell me all the monstrous things you’ve done if you’d like,” I said. “If it will feel better for you to say them out loud. To give them another home that isn’t the inside of your head. You tell me every detail that you think I can’t handle, and I’ll continue to love you. More, if anything. Because you’ve shown me new spaces, parts of you to love. I’m not afraid of you. Of what you’ve done. Who you are. What you’ve had to do to come back to me. All that matters is that you came. And I promise you right now, if you hadn’t come back, if you’d tried to be that man of honor and stayed away, that’s the only thing I wouldn’t be able to forgive. To love. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not some scared teenage girl. I’m tougher than I look. I can handle you.”
He searched my face, his eyes filled with love, reverence. Emotion that hit every nerve in my body. It was unlike anything to be loved this much. Adored this much. Especially by a man with all the demons Cody had. Demons I had no idea how to slay but hoped to learn to tame. To love.
“Fuck, baby. It might be wrong of me, but I’m never letting you go,” he murmured, lips on my neck.