Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 97364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
“Do you feel guilty about Oscar?” I can’t help it. The truth is right there. I can feel it with the tips of my fingers, but I can’t quite grasp it. Her sanity. It feels like her sanity.
“What do you mean?” Just like that. She flips on me.
“Nothing. Let’s get you dressed and do your hair and makeup.”
*
That journal holds the answers. I need to steal it, but she still writes in it, so I can’t take it. She’ll know. More than anything, I need to meditate—try to meditate. I haven’t forgotten that I have cancer. It would suck to die before I solve this mystery, before I make peace with the part of myself that wants for the bearded man from Tybee, before I ride a real horse, or unravel the true wonder of being someone’s song.
“Wow, so much for giving me space.” I’m too exhausted to even be that exasperated with Oscar lounging on his bed, the bed that should be gone, next to the chair that should be gone. I shut the door.
He glances at his watch. “I’ve given you a solid ten hours, Ruby. You’re usually much more efficient with your time. What’s wrong?”
“Nice watch.” I continue to the kitchen.
“It’s new.” He follows me.
“It’s stolen.”
“Borrowed.”
I grab a drink of water and turn toward him. “Really? You’re going to return it?”
“Swap it. Yes.”
“Whatever.” I gulp down the whole glass of water.
“Aren’t you going to ask me whose watch it is?”
“No.” I put the empty glass down and give him the piss-off look because I’m really not interested in playing his games.
He sighs, letting his hand fall back to his side. “It’s Harold’s. I swapped it for an exact replica that has a tracking chip embedded in it.”
I close my eyes and shake my head.
“I thought you’d be proud of me. Now, I’ll know where he is at all times so we won’t get caught.”
“We? Really? Now you and Nellie are a ‘we?’”
“Alright, Ruby, tell me what’s bugging you.”
“You’re bugging me. Missing Theo is bugging me. Having cancer is bugging me. Nellie’s secret journal is bugging me. Living in this tiny flat instead of my house on the beach is bugging me. Needing me time but not getting it is bugging me!”
“Nellie has a secret journal.”
Yes. I said that. Why did I say that? “Yes.”
“Did you take it?”
There’s nothing left to offer but a painful laugh. “No. I can’t take a journal she still writes in every day.”
“Why is it bugging you?”
“Because it’s filled with cryptic stuff that doesn’t make any sense yet something tells me if I could read the whole thing it might make perfect sense.”
“I’ll get it for you.”
“Sorry? No! You’re not going anywhere near her. Watch or no watch. Were you not listening to me? She still writes in it. If it shows up missing, there’s a short list of people who could be accused, and I’m on that list.”
Oscar nods—but it’s not a nod that I like. It’s a nod that tells me he’s planning something.
“Promise me you won’t steal it.”
His gaze shifts to mine. “I promise.”
“Oscar.”
“What? I said I promise. What more do you want?”
“Time. I need you to leave for real this time. I need some time to focus on me and do what’s best for me. Nellie already knows I’m taking a few days or maybe even a few weeks off. Go home. Please. I’m going to look for that place I was at before everything ended.” Minus Theodore. Can that place exist without him? I hope so.
Oscar pushes off the worktop and brings me into his embrace. “As you wish, Ruby.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
My name is Scarlet Stone and for my twelfth birthday, Oscar gave me a signed first edition of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, an Inverness cape, and a deerstalker cap.
Life doesn’t have an off button, at least not one you can press and still be alive. The truth is, I could leave. I could go anywhere in the world. I could find places and people who would nourish my body and my mind and maybe this fucking leach called cancer would vanish for good. However, I fear the damage it would do to me to get there.
The lies.
The manipulating.
The stealing.
I may not have told Theo the whole truth, but even my lies were wrapped in dreams of reality. That has to count for something. Six months of being a Scarlet Stone that I didn’t recognize was part of what started to cure my cancer. I can’t prove it. True miracles don’t need to be justified. It’s my truth and that’s all that matters. I will never need anyone to believe me as long as I’m my own living proof.
Filling the Theodore Reed void in my heart makes concentrating, meditating, eating, sleeping, and breathing feel impossible. One breath. One day at a time. It’s been a week, and I haven’t heard from anyone, not even Oscar. He left with a kiss, a smile, and a nod. No goodbye. I suppose the most personal relationships in life eventually live on their own—without words, without explanation. He knows I love him and I know he loves me. That’s why we’re here … I think.