Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83248 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83248 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Now that I have time to think, my thoughts instantly turn to the cold, hard fact that I had sex with Enzo.
The shock hits anew, making my jaw drop.
I HAD SEX WITH ENZO!!!
No way!
I don’t know if I should laugh, scream, or launch myself off the roof of my building.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
He will lose his shit if he ever finds out I was the girl in the dark who gave him everything before erasing myself like I was never there.
Thank God, I did that!
The next second, regret pours into my chest, and I drop the fork on the plate. I shake my head, upset that instead of going in blind, I should’ve checked who was paired with me.
How am I supposed to look Enzo in the eye now?
My entire body heats when memories from last night flash through my mind. As it once again sinks in that my anonymous partner was Enzo, chaos fills my chest.
For years, I’ve had a crush on him, and just as I try to move on and put it behind me, by some twisted stroke of fate, I end up having sex with Enzo.
Up until now, it was just a painful experience, but knowing Enzo is the man who took my virginity changes things completely.
Part of me is so stunned, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to accept it fully, and the other part tries to remember how his hands felt on my hips, how his breathing sounded, how he moved in and out of me with powerful thrusts.
I recall things I didn’t give much thought to because now they belong to him.
Rubbing a hand over my face, I let out a groan.
No, Rosie. This changes nothing.
Enzo has been very clear that he only sees you as a friend.
God, it just makes it all so much worse.
He can never know, and I have to make sure my tattoo is always covered. If he ever finds out, it will mean the end of our friendship.
That can never happen. I’m taking this to my grave!
Chapter 5
Enzo
The past week has been fucking exhausting.
Since the night at Paradiso, where I was paired with a fucking virgin, my anger has been growing. The attack on Gianna and Riccardo added jet fuel to the fire, and my rage is now a living, breathing inferno.
I got to take some of it out on Ryo Tanaka, the leader of the Yakuza’s son, but the relief didn’t last long.
The moment we landed in New York, I escorted Riccardo and Gianna to the Cosa Nostra’s hospital, where all the parents were already waiting.
Knowing they’ll be okay, I point my Mustang’s nose in the direction of my apartment.
The noise in my head is fucking loud, and I grip my steering wheel tighter, the engine roaring as I floor the gas.
It’s like a constant pressure, a chaotic energy I can’t separate into individual emotions. Not anger, fear, or anxiety, but all of it twisted into something relentless.
Most of the time, I can function through it. Other times, it’s so loud I can’t focus on a single thing.
Flashes of when I walked into the room and saw the red dragon tattoo bombard my mind. There was something about the woman I couldn’t place, and I wonder if I instinctively knew she was pure.
I ignored it, though, but feeling how fucking tight she was should’ve been a red flag. Instead, I trusted the process, that I was paired with a woman who wanted the same thing as me. No names. No talking. No fucking cuddling and getting to know each other.
I didn’t bother trying to make her come because I’ve dealt with that kind of request before, where the woman didn’t want to get off, so it wasn’t weird at all. I know some of them are into withholding orgasms, and when they finally ask for it, they come their fucking brains out.
Everything went by the book until I stepped into the adjacent bathroom and saw all the blood coating the condom and my pelvis.
I rushed back into the room, but the woman was already gone. The pillowcase was smeared with makeup, and there were wet blotches, telling me she had been crying.
She didn’t make any distressed sounds and not once said her safe word.
Taking a turn too sharp, the back of the Mustang skids, and I’m ripped out of my thoughts. I fight for control, and after regaining it, I pull over on the side of the road.
My place is just around the corner, but I switch off the engine and suck in deep breaths of air.
Just like my father, I struggle with emotions. It takes us a while to decompress.
Annoyance tends to overwhelm me, and regret cripples me, while anger can send me into a fit of rage.
I’ve spent my entire life terrified that I might hurt someone I love.