Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 117740 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117740 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
“No. He said the allotments are dead land and it’s more profitable to sell it to a housing developer. The rest was my highly accurate interpretation.”
“And you let him walk out of there alive?”
“I had no choice. Susan almost broke her ankle trying to climb the fence to help Isa hold me back.” I sniffed, looking away. “Also, I don’t want to hurt him on a whim.”
“I see you’re finally maturing. It only took twenty-nine and a bit years.”
“I intend to plan my course of action down to the second to ensure that every ounce of pain I bestow upon him will be so intense that it’ll make him cower in fear at the mere mention of my name.”
“I take it back.”
“No, no, that’s her maturing,” my brother said, finally sitting down. “She’s actually planning her revenge now. Two years ago, she’d have just socked him with a spade and called it good.”
I held out my hand and raised my eyebrows in a, “See?” look at Shaun. “I am a mature woman now.”
“No,” Shaun replied. “Mature women wash their faces before they start drinking.”
“I washed my face.”
“Then you missed, like, five spots of dirt. You look like a child.”
“Wow. You’re supposed to be comforting me, not abusing me.”
“All in due time, Ro.” Shaun turned his attention back to the letter. “I can’t believe the first thing he’s done after coming back is close the allotments. He’s only been here for five minutes. His grandfather wasn’t exactly loved, so how does he think this is going to endear him to the locals?”
“Mmph. I’m not sure he did think.” I took a big gulp of my wine. “Do you think humans make a good fertiliser?”
“I don’t think you should be talking about murdering the Duke of Hanbury and burying him in your vegetable patch in front of a police officer,” Shaun drawled. “What are you going to do? Legally speaking.”
Legally?
What a killjoy. He could at least pretend to indulge my law-breaking fantasies, the filthy traitor.
“Consult a lawyer, I guess,” I replied. “At the very least, I need to make sure the notice complies with the terms within the contract. It was only renewed right before I took over as the committee chair a couple of years ago. I know it changed, but I can’t remember it off the top of my head.”
Shaun smiled. “Whatever it says, it’ll be fine. You have legal cover in the allotment insurance, right?”
“We do. We have to.” I sighed, slumping forwards. “I just… can’t believe that arrogant, bull-headed, snobbish schnitzelprick thinks he can waltz into our village and shut down our allotments.”
“Well, he does own the land they’re on,” Jake said. “As long as he complies with your contract, he can do what he wants.”
I snapped my head around and glared at him. “Do you want to die, brat?”
“Sis, it wouldn’t hurt you to think rationally.”
“I can’t think rationally. I’m angry. And if you’re going to be rational, piss off and book that dumb cat of yours into the vets to be neutered.”
Jake’s cheeks flushed. “I called!”
“Never fear, Isadora is hereeeeee!” Isa strolled into the kitchen with a flourish. “And she has alcoholllllll!”
Yes. That’s what we needed. More alcohol.
Shaun turned around. “Why are you referring to yourself in the third person?”
“It’s called making an entrance, Shaun.” She knocked her fist against the top of his head. “Oh, you already have booze.”
“You called me and said Rose was on the verge of streaking through the town centre. Of course I brought booze.”
Jake looked between them. “Why would you bring booze to my hysterical sister who might streak through the middle of town? Wouldn’t you give her… I don’t know, something to knock her out instead?”
Isa grabbed the bottle of vodka and gave it a wiggle. “Behold, the legendary medicine to knock a crazy bitch out.”
“Why am I being abused in my own home?” I muttered, cradling my glass. “I need new friends.”
“Nobody else could handle you,” Isa said, putting her bag on the table. “And, Jake? Bongo is booked in for his snip next Tuesday. Make sure you bring him to the office by eight-thirty to check him in.”
Jake blushed. “I told you I’d called, Rose.”
I looked at Isa. “Did he call?”
Isa helped herself to a glass from the cupboard. “Did he call? Hm, no. I called Big Steve to find out his work shifts, and he gave me his college class schedule, so I booked it in on a day he only has one class in the afternoon and a day off work to make sure he can’t use them as an excuse.”
Jake jumped to his feet. “That sly git!”
“That sly git is her uncle and your boss,” Shaun pointed out.
“Exactly. Listen to me, young man.” Isa planted her hands on the dining table and glared over at him. “Your cat is one month away from sexual maturity. If I don’t get his balls within the next two weeks, I’m going to send you a bill for every single cat I have to trap-neuter-release and every single stray ginger kitten that gets brought in or dumped for six months after he’s castrated. Every. Single. One.”