Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 114951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 575(@200wpm)___ 460(@250wpm)___ 383(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 575(@200wpm)___ 460(@250wpm)___ 383(@300wpm)
Maybe the question should have stung. Maybe it should have made me angry. But it only warmed my heart, an easy smile finding my lips at the fact that Shane had asked about someone he knew meant everything to me.
“He’s… God, Shane, he’s incredible.” My eyes welled with pride as I said the words. “He’s in med school.”
“What? Holy shit.” Shane’s jaw dropped before a grin split his face. “That’s amazing.”
“He is amazing. He’s acing all his classes, chomping at the bit to get into the hospital and really dig in. He’s leaving his options open, but thinks he wants to go into pediatrics. Specifically, oncology.”
Shane whistled. “Wow.”
“I know.”
“You must be so proud of him.”
My eyes stung again. “I am. I really am.”
“He’s lucky to have you.”
That comment soured my delight. I wasn’t sure I shared his sentiment. My poor brother had been unwanted by his father, had to witness horrible things happen to his mother, and then try to find normalcy with an older sister who had no idea how to raise a child. I couldn’t give him half of what I wished I could.
And if it wasn’t for Nathan, he wouldn’t be in med school. There was no way I would have ever been able to afford sending him.
I sniffed, forcing a smile. “Speaking of family, how are your grandparents?”
Shane was watching me like he’d seen my train of thought, the doubt, without me even saying a word. He tried to smile, but it only reached the corner of his mouth before it fell again. “They passed several years ago.”
“Oh, Shane… I’m so sorry.”
“They lived a great life. Grandma passed first — just old age, as the doctor said. And Grandpa went right after.”
I nodded, and without thinking, I reached for him, hand wrapping around his wrist with a squeeze. I knew how complicated his relationship with them was. He was thankful to them taking him in when his parents died, but they also hadn’t known what to do with him, so they’d thrown him into sports and wiped their hands. They had been in their retirement era, ready for it to be just the two of them, and Shane hadn’t fit into that narrative. But they loved him. They housed him and clothed him, made sure he was fed and had plenty of money for whatever he needed when he made it to college. Hockey was expensive, and they’d footed every bill without question.
But none of that made up for what he really wanted, what he needed, what he was missing.
Parents.
Family.
My throat constricted when I thought of how hard it all must have been for him.
I felt a tinge of hurt and jealousy, too. I wished I could have been there for him through it.
I wished we could have stayed in each other’s lives.
Shane stared at where I held him, a muscle ticking in his jaw. When he lifted his gaze to mine, I felt stripped to the bone.
“Ari, I—”
A heavy knock on the door made both of us jump, and just as we retreated into our own space again, the door swung open to reveal my husband.
“Ah! I knew it. Hard at work already.” He grinned wide, sweeping into the room without care and bending to press a kiss to my cheek, which flamed when my eyes skirted to Shane. “I was chatting with our rookies, making sure they felt good going into today’s practice. And I remembered you were here, darling, so I came to take you to lunch.”
“We were just finishing, anyway,” I said, stacking up all the pages and slipping them into a folder. My neck was on fire, like I’d been caught with my tongue down my ex’s throat rather than just sitting in a room with him. “Shane, thank you again for your help. Do you think you can get with the players, get a feel for who we can depend on, and we can discuss at the next meeting?”
“Oh, I’m sure all the players will be more than happy to help,” Nathan answered for him. “And Coach here will thwomp them if they give you any grief. Isn’t that right, McCabe?”
Nathan squeezed Shane’s shoulders and shook him hard, all with a loud laugh that had always charmed everyone around him.
“I’m sure we won’t run into any trouble,” Shane answered carefully, and then he shrugged out of Nathan’s grasp to stand, gathering his things. “I better get to it. Enjoy your lunch.”
His gaze slid to me only briefly, enough for me to see there were still a thousand things left unsaid.
I hoped he could read my unspoken reply.
Leave it in the past, Shane.
Please, just leave it in the past.
Because I knew that was the only way I could survive being in his vicinity again.
Suspicious Circumstances
Shane
2008
On a sunny day in late April of 2008, one year after we’d made things official, the little safe haven Ariana and I had built came crashing down.