Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 78329 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78329 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
“He reads to my belly every night,” she shares fondly. “Like the kid can hear him already.”
I smile. “That’s really sweet.”
“It is,” she agrees. “I never thought I’d end up here, you know? Married. Pregnant. Safe, comfortable. Living this life where Justice is happy and gets to have a man in his life to teach him all the things and ways to do right by the people he loves.”
“Yeah,” I repeat quietly. “Me neither. I honestly thought we were all cursed.” Which is true. I lost my mom when I was eight, Josie and Jackie’s parents bailed on them. Josie lost Jonah while she was pregnant with Justice. No one seems to be able to stick around in our family.
There’s a pause. Not awkward. Just full of the peace she’s found and the happiness I have for her in getting this happily ever after.
“So,” she begins carefully, and I know that tone. “What else is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” I reply too quickly.
She snorts. “Danae.”
I close my eyes. I didn’t plan to tell her. I haven’t even fully admitted it to myself yet. But if I’m honest with anyone, it’s her.
“I did something kind of out of character,” I admit.
Her voice perks up instantly. “Oh?”
The butterflies in my belly flutter like crazy. Am I really about to tell someone? Josie isn’t just someone, though. She’s my person. My best friend. My family. “I had a one-night stand.”
Silence. Then, after a beat, she replied in shock. “You did not.”
“I did.”
“With a real human man?” she asks. “Maybe it was a dream?”
I laugh softly. “Yes. A real one. And parts of it were as good as a dream.”
“Oh my God,” she squeals, delighted. “Danae.”
“Don’t,” I warn. “Don’t make it a thing.”
“I’m absolutely making it a thing. You’ve never lost control and just cut loose.”
“I know,” I interrupt. “That’s why it’s weird.”
“When?” she asks. “Who?”
“A few weeks ago.” I admit on a sigh without answering the second part of her question.
“And you’re just telling me now?”
“I needed time,” I reply. “To process.”
She hums. “Okay. Tell me everything.”
I move to the window, resting my forehead against the cool glass. “It just happened,” I share. “I wasn’t looking for anything. One minute I was minding my own business, the next, well.”
“You were naked,” she interjects.
“Yes,” I respond, smiling despite myself. “That.”
“Was it good?”
I hesitate. Because good doesn’t even cover it. Saying it out loud makes it real and do I want this to be my reality?
“It was intense,” I reply instead.
She laughs. “That’s a yes.”
“It was a mistake,” I add quickly. Because I should have remained in control of myself.
“Was it?” she asks gently. “Consensual sex isn’t a bad thing, Danae.”
I swallow because it’s time to tell her the whole situation. “I don’t even know his name, Josie.”
There’s a pause. “You don’t know his name?”
I let out an uncomfortable laugh. “No. I didn’t ask. He didn’t ask mine either.”
“That is extremely unlike you.”
“Tell me about it.” I admit.
She’s quiet for a moment, then asks, “How did it make you feel?”
I stare out into the dark yard. The answer rises up before I can stop it. “Free,” I answer. “And reckless. And like I wasn’t carrying everything for once. Wild.”
She exhales slowly. “Maybe you needed that. Letting go isn’t a bad thing, Danae.”
“I needed a stranger?” I ask perplexed. “Josie Mosie, that’s not being responsible. I literally don’t know the man I gave access to my body.”
“You needed to remember you’re still you,” she replies firmly. “You needed to feel like a woman. Embrace your feminine energy. You take on so much for all of us. You are allowed to have a moment for you. I’m happy for you. For one night you got to be free. Not just a caregiver. Not just the responsible one. Just Danae.”
My throat tightens. “I didn’t tell him anything,” I reply softly. “About my life. About Grandpa. About any of it. For a few hours, none of it existed.”
“And then?” she asks.
“And then it was over,” I say. “I woke up alone. He was gone.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think you’ll see him again?”
“No,” I reply, even though the word doesn’t sit easily. “It was clearly a one-time thing.”
“Does that bother you?”
I think of the way his absence lingered longer than his presence. Of the warmth that still ghosts my sheets sometimes. “Maybe,” I admit. “I’m not sure what I feel or think about it.”
“Life’s messy,” she sighs.
“Easy for you to say,” I tease. “You’re glowing and pregnant and in love.”
She laughs. “I’m also terrified.”
“You’ll be amazing,” I encourage. “Motherhood suits you, Josie Mosie, and so does being a wife and partner. Dean is good for you and Justice and now this new little life.”
“I know,” she replies. “But I’m still glad you’re coming. I need you.”
I smile, warmth spreading through my chest. “I need you too.”