Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 108362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 542(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
It took a few minutes for me to wind down from the confrontation with Viola as I fired up my computer to start on the few work-related tasks I had to complete. I managed to file away the fury she drew out of me and concentrate for a little while, but then my thoughts kept wandering back to Jace and what was happening with the catfish. My fingers itched to pick up my phone and call him for an update, but I managed to resist. It was his predicament, and he had more than enough people to support him.
But still, my worry persisted, and I found myself doing something I hadn’t done in years.
I looked up his social media.
There was an Astro account where they shared tour photos, new music, and such, but each individual member also had their own solo account, and that was how I ended up scrolling through all the recent posts and videos Jace had put up. I kept the volume on my computer on mute because my heart still wasn’t ready to hear his music.
Even a couple of notes could bring about an intense sadness, and I wished to avoid that at all costs. My emotional armour wasn’t yet strong enough to withstand hearing him sing or the soulful way he played the guitar.
Still, even with the mute button on, seeing photos of him and the band, not to mention videos of him performing on stage, had goosebumps tingling across the back of my neck. I’d blocked it all out for such a long time, and now it was like a tidal wave of feeling crashing over me. Jace had such effortless star power, and sometimes I wondered if he even knew the effect he had on people. I mean, the woman from last night had fallen in love with him merely from sending messages back and forth with an imposter. She’d obviously gotten swept up in the romance and overlooked all the red flags because the idea of being special to someone as talented and charismatic as Jace Fields was a heady feeling. I knew because I’d had the real thing, and I feared I’d never feel for anyone what Jace could make me feel.
That I’d never be loved like he’d once loved me.
I paused on a recent video in a recording studio. Jace was singing alongside a gorgeous blonde woman who I vaguely recognised. She must’ve been some singer he was collaborating with or perhaps a member of another band. Even though it was on mute, the effect was all-consuming. They sang together, and the blonde looked at Jace like he hung the moon and stars, her pretty face beaming up at him with a smile so full of affection it almost pained me to watch. His eyes were closed while he sang, but then he opened them and smiled back at her. I swear something sliced a tiny piece out of my heart. They’d probably slept together. Jace had said he wasn’t seeing anyone, and I believed him, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been with her or that he didn’t want to. They certainly had plenty of chemistry.
None of your business, Shannon.
Swallowing the heavy lump in my throat, I shut down the page and went to make some tea. I had a million tasks to complete, clients to email, and code to write, but instead I was wasting my time getting lost down the rabbit hole of Jace’s exciting life that I was no longer a part of. But I had to accept it. He was going to find someone new eventually, and he deserved to. Just because our marriage ended didn’t mean he should be alone forever. And I deserved happiness, too.
I just had to put myself out there. If only doing so wasn’t so incredibly petrifying.
Remembering Rufus had sent a message early this morning that I still hadn’t replied to, I grabbed my phone and considered responding. Why did the thought of engaging with an online suitor have my palms going all sweaty, my gut churning with indecision? Then again, it was a logical response. Like, was it even safe to date someone off the internet who I knew nothing about? Look at the Jace’s catfish. Everything Rufus had told me about himself so far could be a complete fabrication. But I couldn’t live my life that way. Never taking a risk today meant never gaining anything in the future, right?
With this in mind, I shot off a quick question, my heart racing all the while.
Me: Want to grab coffee this weekend?
Nerves thrummed through me because I hadn’t had to make the first move on a man in, well, ever. When I didn’t receive a reply right away, I set my phone aside and got back to work. It was almost time for Zara to arrive home when my phone vibrated. Thinking it might be Rufus, I checked the screen but instead found a message from Jace.