Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 92899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound echoing off the rocks and trees around us. “Not likely, Doc. But how about we take these guys out for pizza and beer tonight?”
“If you’re talking about Timber, you’ve got a deal.”
We were standing closer now, the familiar rhythm of our banter pulling us into our own little bubble despite the crowd around us. Tommy’s eyes were bright with laughter, and I caught myself staring at the way the light caught the gold flecks in his irises.
Dangerous territory. We were supposed to be professional out here.
Thankfully, Omar, one of the med cohort students assessing the “victim,” asked Tommy a question, causing him to move closer to Robyn for the response.
My SAR group and I huddled together to determine the best way to extract her back to the trailhead safely.
Forty minutes later, when we’d finished rigging up the ropes and harness and successfully sent Robyn off in a fictional ambulance, we began our walk back to SERA from the trailhead.
Tommy and I ended up at the back of the pack, watching the students chatting excitedly ahead of us, proud of a job well done.
This—this day, this rhythm, this partnership between our teams—was what happiness could look like. Two people who were good at their jobs, good together, building something that mattered.
Tommy glanced over at me. “This kind of medicine… it’s exactly what I went to medical school for. The improvisation, the teamwork, working with limited resources…”
He trailed off, but I caught the wistful note in his voice. The longing.
Then stay, I wanted to say. Stay here and do this kind of work. Stay close to me.
Instead, I deflected. “Better than standing in some fluorescent-lit ER all day, right?”
Tommy glanced at me for a beat before plastering on a smile. “In summer, maybe. In winter, the ER seems downright cozy compared to dangling off a rock face in the ice and wind.”
I thought back to that exact same scenario I’d been in only six months before.
“Been there,” I muttered, making him laugh.
“No shit?”
I nodded and met his eyes. “The day I met you, actually.”
Before I could tell him the story, Robyn appeared. “Great work today, you two,” she said. “Tommy, can I grab you for a quick debrief before lunch?”
He smiled at her, an expression that seemed more genuine than the one he’d given me. The sharp bite of jealousy surprised me. I knew Robyn was interested in Tommy, if her flirty smiles and the way she swished her ponytail were any indication, but I hadn’t sensed any particular interest on his part.
You’re being ridiculous, I warned myself. And besides, it doesn’t matter. This is a summer fling. Physical only, remember?
I knew better than to want more than that.
Didn’t I?
As the teams dispersed and headed for lunch, I found myself standing alone at the trailhead with Chickie, watching Tommy disappear down the path. Even from here, I could see him falling into easy conversation with Robyn and the students around them, his natural charisma drawing everyone to him like a magnet.
Chickie whined softly and pressed against my leg, as if she could sense my mood shifting. I reached down to scratch her ears, grateful for her uncomplicated affection.
“Come on, girl,” I said, shouldering my pack. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
But as we walked toward the dining hall, I couldn’t shake the image of Tommy’s face when he’d talked about this kind of medicine. The way his whole expression had lit up, like he was remembering who he used to be before hospital politics and city life wore him down.
And I couldn’t stop wondering what would have happened if I’d been brave enough to say what I was really thinking.
Stay. Please. Just stay.
Let’s figure it out together.
12
TOMMY
The adrenaline from the morning’s drill was still humming through my veins as I watched my team head to the dining room, their faces flushed with the kind of satisfaction that only came from nailing something difficult. Sierra was practically glowing as she recounted her triage decisions to the others. And even Omar, who’d initially been skeptical about SERA’s requirement that all students participate in a medical training rotation since he was eager to get to practice “real SAR stuff,” was asking thoughtful questions about medication protocols in wilderness settings.
“Dr. Marian,” Cody said as he stopped by the door to the dining hall and held it open for me to pass, “that was fucking awesome. I have first aid training and some field experience, but this was next-level. How do I get more training like this after SERA?”
Familiar warmth spread through my chest—the same feeling I used to get during my wilderness medicine rotation in residency, before staffing nightmares and endless paperwork had slowly leached the joy out of practicing medicine.
“There are other programs, including the advanced level one here at SERA,” I said. “But honestly? The best training is exactly what you’re doing now. Get out here, make mistakes, learn from them. Medicine in the field isn’t about having the perfect equipment or the latest protocols. It’s about adapting and trusting your instincts.”