Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 101872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101872 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“Yep, by paddling your ass.”
“Have I scared you?” he asked.
“I don’t scare easily,” she replied.
“That isn’t answering my question, Gem.”
She took in a deep breath, wincing again. Damn, her back hurt. It hadn’t been this bad earlier but something about the way Dean had grabbed her had tweaked it.
“I don’t think I’m a masochist.” This was a weird conversation to have. Weren’t they just friends?
“I didn’t think so,” he replied calmly. “And you don’t have to be one.”
“Right. I mean, we’re just friends, right? So it doesn’t matter if you’re a sadist and I’m a brat looking for a Daddy figure.”
“You want a Daddy Dom?” he asked.
“Hmm. Maybe? I don’t know. I like what one represents, but I’m not . . . I’m not a Little. I don’t necessarily need to call someone Daddy. But I like the idea of someone who isn’t afraid to call me out when I go too far. Who can handle my sassy side but also realizes that . . . that . . .”
“That you’re vulnerable under that prickly exterior.”
“I mean . . . yeah.” She gulped. “You understand me well for someone who’s only been my friend a week.”
Renard grunted. “Sometimes I think I can see bits of myself in you. Although I’m not vulnerable on the inside. Prickly all the way through.”
Uh-huh.
She definitely didn’t believe that. But she wasn’t going to sit here and argue that he had a marshmallow inside.
At least he did for some people.
“Guess I like the idea of someone who isn’t afraid to take me in hand when I need it, who won’t let me roll right over them, but won’t take things too far. Won’t be too cold or too Dominant. Who knows how to be . . . nurturing? Maybe? I don’t know.”
He was silent for a long moment. “It’s not my strongest point.”
“What isn’t?” she whispered.
“Being nurturing.”
“I don’t know. I think you’ve got it in you.” She’d meant to tease him, but instead it came off with a hint of longing. She cleared her throat. “I mean, you can be nurturing with people, look at you with the baby.”
“She’s a baby,” he said. “This is different. Don’t know if I know how to be nurturing, but I could try.”
“You could . . . try? Why would you try?”
And why was her heart racing? Why was her stomach bubbling with nausea and nerves?
He cleared his throat. “Could try for you, Gem.”
“As a friend?” she queried.
“Hmm. I was thinking of something else.”
“As a . . . as a scene partner?”
“Nope. Try again. And clue in, Gem. I’m getting older by the second, yeah? Don’t have time for pissing around. Didn’t want a woman in my life. I’ve got plans that don’t include having two rockers on the front porch.”
Ouch.
Shit.
That was a sucker punch she hadn’t been expecting.
“So you want to get involved with me for the short term?”
What were those plans? And why couldn’t there be another rocker? She could buy it if she needed to.
“Maybe, I guess. Not sure exactly what I’m thinking if I’m honest. I know I likely sound like an asshole right now and if you want me to drop you off and leave, then I get that.”
“I like honesty.”
Although his brand of honesty might make her cry. Which, apparently, he hated. Unless he caused the pain that made someone cry.
He pulled up outside her house again.
“Good. Right. Here’s the thing. I wanna be more than friends, but I don’t want to go into this with you thinking it’s a fairy tale, live happily-ever-after thing. Because I don’t know that I have that in me.”
“So this is . . . sex? And play?” She was so confused.
“It’s fucking not,” he said hotly.
“You are so freaking confusing!” She burst out. “Just say it.”
“Want you to be mine for however long this works out. Which might be weeks, might be months, or a bit longer. But I can’t promise forever or an extra rocker on the front porch.”
Ahh.
Okay, she was starting to get it. And while some women might get mad at what he was saying, she wasn’t one of those women.
Because she understood. And she appreciated the honesty.
“Nobody can promise tomorrow, not even God,” she said. “Not in my view, anyway.”
“You’re not mad?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“No. I really do understand. You want something more than friendship, more than sex, but you’re not talking a white dress and forever.”
Sure, there was a part of her that couldn’t help but feel like she was never going to get that white dress and forever.
But maybe that was the way her life was meant to be.
Perhaps she wasn’t destined for forever.
Because she didn’t really deserve it.
She got it.
And she wasn’t mad.
So why didn’t he feel happier about that?
Maybe because you can see Opal sitting on a rocker next to you on that front porch and you like it.