Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 93948 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93948 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
More than that, the original Cŵn Annwn have risen to become something akin to gods for us. There are statues of them in Lyari, people pray to them—though it’s fallen out of favor in recent generations. If the originals were able to just…show up…it would change everything. The Cŵn Annwn would be forced to stop co-opting their name and reputation, perverting it in the pursuit of more power in order to provide protection no one asked for.
Nox drags their hand through their hair. “Look, we all know how little I like the idea of war, but tonight changed things. We can’t keep running, Siobhan. We sure as fuck can’t hide. The only thing left to do is to decide how we fight.”
Siobhan drops her head into her hands. “I hate this. More people are going to die.”
Nox and I exchange a look of perfect understanding. It’s strange how even with all the distance and time between us, I still know them. Siobhan won’t come around tonight, but the fact that she’s not arguing means she will come around. Now’s the time to let her think, to process, to come to the same conclusion Nox and I obviously have.
We’re going to war.
“That’s enough for tonight,” Nox finally says.
Siobhan doesn’t speak another word; she just storms out of the cabin and slams the door behind her. I should follow her, should try to talk to her. Her instinct to dig in her heels has kept her alive for a long time, but she’s hurting and our history means I know what to say to fix it. Or at least push it away until it’s manageable.
But Nox holds up a hand before I can make a move. “We might as well get this out of the way to avoid things being awkward. Are you going to have a problem taking orders from me?”
I can’t stop myself from smirking. “When have I ever had problems taking orders from you?”
“Don’t do that.” They hold my gaze until it’s uncomfortable, their pale eyes giving me nothing. “Don’t flirt with me as if we don’t have a particularly painful history. It’s cruel.”
I duck my head before I can think better of it. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“And yet.” There’s a wealth of history in those two words.
“Yeah.” I sigh. “And yet.”
“I have one question, and I would like an honest answer.”
I already know I’m not going to like it—and that they won’t like the answer—but I nod. “Sure. Whatever you need to know.”
Nox parts their lips, hesitant in a way that hurts my heart. The Nox I know, both personally and, later, through reputation, is never hesitant. They are bold and brash and fearless. They finally say, “How long?”
I know what they mean, but I can’t stop myself from parroting their words. “How long?”
“How long after you told me that your life and home and everything were in Lyari did you sail away from the city with Siobhan?”
I suck in a harsh breath. It’s the question I didn’t want to hear because the answer will hurt them, will add to the pain I’ve already caused them. “It wasn’t like that.”
“I don’t really care what it was like. I heard all your arguments on why you couldn’t leave your family behind. Even after all this time, I could probably recite them from memory.” They meet my gaze steadily. “I want the answer.”
I hate this. I hate that little fool I was, who didn’t appreciate or acknowledge how valuable the person he cared about was. “I was afraid, Nox. I was twenty-one, and it all felt very exciting when we dreamed about a future together, paving our own way, but I knew my family would cut me off.”
“Bastian.” They say my name on a sigh. “Please.”
Ancient history has no business hurting as much as the confession rattling around in my chest. “A year.”
“A year,” Nox repeats. “I see.”
There’s so much I could say. I could tell them that the moment they sailed out of port, I was waiting for them to return so I could right the mistake I’d made in letting them leave. That as the weeks ticked into months, I realized that I couldn’t fix anything. That my cowardice had ruined everything. So, when the opportunity came to travel to Mairi to look after one of my father’s business interests, I jumped at it.
Except instead of magically finding Nox again, I met Siobhan in a pub one evening after long negotiations. In the weeks that followed, I secured the deal for my family, and then decided to stay with Siobhan, to help her realize the dream she held of a free Threshold.
None of that will change the hurt I caused. The harm. “I’m sorry.”
I actually see Nox putting their charming mask back into place. They grin, but the expression doesn’t reach their eyes. “We’re all sorry about a lot of things.”