Total pages in book: 52
Estimated words: 49178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 246(@200wpm)___ 197(@250wpm)___ 164(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 246(@200wpm)___ 197(@250wpm)___ 164(@300wpm)
Then I flipped us again, pushing deep, our mouths barely breaking apart as we built and built and built.
“Oh fuck, Benny, I’m going to come!”
He came first, pulsing between us, biting a knuckle to stop himself from shouting any louder. And the way he looked right then—eyes wide, body trembling—I came too, losing it with a groan into his shoulder as I held him so tight I thought we might fuse together.
“Holy shittttt,” I said into the dark crevice of his neck.
We stayed like that for a long time, catching our breath, pressed heart-to-heart. After what felt like a blissful eternity, I pried myself off him and grabbed us a clean pair of hand towels to clean up. Sam was a giggling mess, his cheeks still flushed when I flopped back onto the bed next to him. The room glowed in a kind of surreal golden light. I wasn’t even sure where it was coming from or if I was hallucinating it… I was most likely hallucinating it. Fucking Sam—making love to him—it had completely rewired my brain. I felt like a superhero. Like I could fly across the globe, rescuing people from burning buildings and stopping robberies and curing cancer. I felt like I could see new colors and hear new sounds and smell new scents.
“Goddamn,” I said, still breathless. “Your ass has magical powers.”
“That so?” Sam asked.
“Yeah. I feel like I’m on top of the world right now.”
“Well, you were definitely on top of something.” Sam chuckled at that. We were laying on our backs, legs crossed over each other, music still playing through my speaker. I looked over, unable to really process the fact that my childhood best friend and first true love was now resting naked next to me, my dick still chubby from our sex.
“How do you feel?” I asked. As wild and new as this all was for me, it must have been a hundred times more intense for Sam.
“I feel like a big piece of my map was chartered tonight.”
That made me smile wide. “Was it the gay valley that was mapped out? Or maybe the bi ravine?”
Sam took a moment to consider that. I could see the thoughts swirling inside those dreamy hazel eyes of his. I thought back to my coming out experience, how it was something I always knew about myself. The trick for me was getting other people to know it, too. But I could see how that process became infinitely more complicated if I wasn’t entirely sure of my identity to begin with.
I propped myself up on an elbow. “It’s okay if you don’t know yet,” I reassured him. I put a hand on his chest. His heart thumped and pumped.
“I think I do know. I mean, I guess I do know? I don’t know… I really did like being with the girls I dated, and I enjoyed the sex too. I also really fucking enjoyed sex with you. And, if I’m being honest, I’ve been watching more and more gay porn lately. I just really like dick.”
“The good news is that whether you’re bi, gay, or pan, it doesn’t matter, because no matter which one of those you are, you’ll still be inducted into the alphabet mafia.”
“Is that really a thing?”
“It is. We have a secret handshake and everything.” I mimed jerking off an invisible dick and having it spray cum all over my face before wiping off that invisible cum and holding my hand out for a handshake. I lifted my eyebrows and pointedly looked down at my empty hand.
Sam laughed some more and then mimicked my handshake, jerking off an air dick and having it come all over his face. He wiped it off and shook my hand.
“There you go,” I said, laughing along with Sam. “Now you’re an official member.”
“So having you balls deep in my ass wasn’t enough?”
“Nope, you needed the handshake. Congrats.” I rubbed my hand up and down Sam’s chest, feeling the soft hair he kept trimmed.
“Any advice on coming out? Insider tips?”
I huffed out a breath of air. “I wish I had some tips or tricks. Truth is, coming out is different for everyone, every time. And I mean every time. Sometimes people think coming out is one big moment and that’s it, you’re done. But it’s not. It’s not like a baby shower or a graduation. People don’t get shirts made or have confetti canons… although they should. That’d make it a whole lot better.
Coming out is something that happens over and over again. With the new barber you meet or with a cousin you haven’t seen in years or with a nosy neighbor. Does it get easier? Yes, it does. It becomes less of a statement, less of a thing. And as you get more comfortable with your identity, then other people pick up on the subtle clues you start to project and just figure things out themselves. Maybe you mention a boyfriend or a partner in a passing conversation, or maybe there’s a certain swish of your hip when you move across a room, or a little rainbow pin attached to your book bag. Coming out doesn’t have to always be a big dramatic thing, but—often times—the first couple coming outs are big dramatic things.”