Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 90972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90972 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 455(@200wpm)___ 364(@250wpm)___ 303(@300wpm)
I’m still frozen in horror when he lifts his head, smiling down at me. “He’s got a new toy now. He’ll be too busy with her.”
What does that mean? Somehow, in the middle of my paralyzing fear, the comment about Kellen’s toy rises to the top. If I thought I’d get an answer, I would ask what that means.
But I think I understand. He’s moved on. There’s somebody else in his life, taking up his time. I pushed him too far away for too long.
I was right. He was never going to save me.
The bell chimes in front, and I gasp, looking over his shoulder. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy to see Mom and Dad.
“Tamson?” Dad calls out.
Dante’s empty eyes meet mine. “See you tonight,” he whispers, then ducks through the back door the way I should have. There’s nothing I can do but lean against the rack, shaking, fighting for every breath. He wasn’t joking. I know he wasn’t. He is going to come to the house later to find me.
And there’s nothing I can do to stop him.
“There you are.” Mom sighs with relief when I appear, still holding the can in my sweaty hand. It looks like she at least went through the motions today, showering and putting on clean clothes. She’s as haunted as I am. “How has it been here?”
“Quiet,” I murmur, glad when a few customers walk in, a group of girls who laugh and joke and loudly talk about their plans for later tonight. Normal girls, in other words, while I remember what Kellen did to me in the kitchen…and imagine how much worse it will be when Dante finds me.
What am I supposed to do? I have to assume he meant it. He’ll come to the house tonight. If I’m not there, he’ll wait for me. I know he will. If I’m still on his mind, if he still feels like he missed out somehow, he is not going to let up.
“Honey, that’s the third can you’ve dropped,” Mom sighs as I continue restocking. “And I think you can stop now. The shelves are crammed.”
She’s right. I’ve just been sliding cans in place without thinking until there isn’t an inch of free space. I don’t know how much time has passed. I don’t even know if I priced half of them correctly.
She comes out from behind the counter, looking at me with deep concern. “Why don’t you go back to the office, sit down for a little bit?” she suggests, touching the back of her hand on my forehead like she’s checking for a fever. “You are ice cold.”
Dad is back in the office. I don’t know if I can stand looking at his hand bandaged up the way it is. Every time I see it, I remember the way Mom shrieked. It’s enough to make me imagine sitting down with her, the vodka between us, and drinking myself into oblivion.
“You know what, maybe I should go home,” I whisper. I don’t want him coming back here, looking for me. I can’t put them through it. Somehow, in the middle of all of this, I still care about what this could do to them. “I’m not feeling very well.”
“All right. Maybe you should get some sleep. And try to eat something,” she adds. “You’ll be a skeleton before much longer.”
“I try,” I murmur, grabbing my purse from under the counter. The last thing I want right now is to be alone, vulnerable, but I can’t be here. I can barely function. It’s obvious there’s something wrong with me. I won’t be able to hide it much longer.
There’s a second where I consider not going in the direction of home. But where else would I go? I don’t want to make it easy for him to find me, but I have no backup plan. I have no money for even a cheap motel. I could call Emma, spend the night with her, but would I want to leave my only friend open to that maniac? I can’t get her involved in this.
What, then? Do I just go home and wait? Do I drive around until the car runs out of gas, then sleep in it somewhere? That would be like pouring lighter fluid on a fire. Dante isn’t the only bad guy out there in the world.
And Kellen is lost to me. Who am I trying to kid? He was never mine. If he could forget me that easily, and find a new toy as Dante put it, I never actually meant anything.
By the time I’m home, unlocking the front door, there’s only one option left. It’s always been there, in the background, waiting to step into the light. Since way before all of this happened. Only before now, I thought I had a reason to avoid going through with it.