Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 100367 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100367 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
“I mean, he had that kind of evil in him.” She shrugs a shoulder. “Anyway, our safe haven was the Blackwell family. Whenever things got too horrible, Holden would round us all up and take us over to the Blackwells’, and we’d hang out there until things calmed down a bit. They’re like siblings to me. So, I guess the way your home was a sanctuary for Harper and Zack, we found that with the Blackwells.”
“I’m so fucking glad that you had it somewhere.”
Her smile is sad, and it makes me want to yank her to me and never let go.
“I didn’t have many friends, though. I didn’t honestly have time for friends or for extra things after school. I always wished I did, that I could join a club or sports, because it would mean that I could be away from home longer.”
Christ.
“But I couldn’t risk it. I had to be home to protect my younger sisters. Holden did a great job of scaring Dad just enough to make sure he didn’t kill us.”
My jaw is clenched so tight, it’s a wonder it doesn’t break.
“But he had to work the ranch. From the time he was roughly ten or eleven, right around the time Mom died, he worked the ranch harder than Dad did. Dad used Holden as slave labor, and he spent his time making our lives hell, so I had to race home from school to look after the others. Charlie was just a baby then, and there were times I’d get home and she was crying, hungry, wet, and neglected all day. The twins were so quiet, so scared.”
She’s talking about this like you would discuss going on family vacation as a kid. Like it’s just a fact, and I know that for her it is, but it’s breaking my fucking heart. How can she be so robotic about it? So . . . detached?
“But the best days were when he would pass out drunk, and we could just breathe. The little ones could play, and I could read or study without being yelled at for something. Those days didn’t happen enough.”
“Darby—”
“I don’t need you to feel sorry for me,” she murmurs as she finishes her steak. “We all survived it. I think we’re stronger because of it.”
“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
“I think I’m mostly stubborn.”
“It probably served you well when you were young.”
Her eyes bounce up to mine, and she tilts her head, like she hadn’t thought of that before.
“You’re probably right. All of my siblings and I have issues from our childhood. We didn’t get out unscathed. There’s a lot of anxiety, some self-doubt, and I haven’t slept well since I was a toddler, but all in all, we’re pretty great.”
“Back it up. You haven’t slept well?”
“No.” She dabs her mouth with her napkin. “He liked to terrorize me at night, when the others were asleep and couldn’t protect me.”
“Baby.”
“I had to be on high alert, always. Because I would not allow him to hurt the others the way he did me.”
“So you got the worst of it.”
“I mean, no one had it great, Tucker. But yeah, I distracted him to me, rather than let him hurt the other girls more. But I have to tell you, I sleep like a fucking baby in your bed. Even when you couldn’t be there because of that mountain lion, I slept like a baby angel on a cloud, and now I’m addicted to it, so if you’re trying to butter me up with this fantastic meal and this beautiful sunset”—she gestures to the view, where everything is cast in gold—“just to then break the news that I have to go back out to the cabin, I might toss the rest of this wine in your face.”
I press my lips together to keep from laughing and then shake my head. “I’m so fucking in love with you that I won’t let you leave my bed for anything, Duchess.”
Her jaw drops and then closes again.
“That’s not the first time I’ve said that,” I remind her.
“I thought I was dreaming last time.”
“No. You weren’t.”
Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine as she nibbles that lower lip, and then her chin starts to tremble, and I can’t stand it anymore.
I walk around and sit in the empty seat next to her and kiss her cheek, her temple, before planting my lips right next to her ear.
“You’re incredible. You are changing my life for the better, Duchess. So don’t you ever think for a second that I don’t love the hell out of you. And you can say it back whenever you’re ready to meet me there. I’m in no rush.”
She takes a shaky breath and leans into me. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.”