Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 95046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
"I know."
"Marco. Angelo. Dom. Ricky. Your brothers—"
"I know."
"And you just—what? Handed them over? To Luca LaRiccia?"
"Yes."
Jino lunges forward, but Lorcan catches him by the shoulder.
I step away from Emmaleen, pacing across Lorcan's great room, my hands in my pockets. I thought I made peace with this a long time ago.
I didn't realize until this afternoon, that I hadn't.
"You want to know why?" My voice comes out low. "You want to know why I decided to burn down my own family, Jino?"
Jino glares at me, breathing hard.
"Because they were never my family. Not really."
I touch the gash on my temple, feeling the dried blood crack under my fingers.
"When I was eight years old, Salvatore traded me to Luca like currency. Handed me over to settle a debt because his sister fucked the wrong man. They tied me to a post in a warehouse. Beat me. Starved me. Ten days, Jino. I was eight. Seventy pounds. By day ten, I was hallucinating, pissing blood, begging for water."
My voice drops.
"And you know what Salvatore did when I escaped? When I dislocated my own thumb, shot a guard, and ran barefoot through Pittsburgh in February?"
Jino says nothing.
"He beat me. Split my lip. Cracked two ribs. Told me I ruined his negotiation. That I should've stayed put and let them finish whatever deal he'd made."
I laugh—it sounds wrong even to me.
"That was the first time. Not the last. Growing up, every mistake earned a beating. Every question earned a slap. Every time I tried to be smarter, better, worthy—he reminded me I wasn't. That I was the runt. The mistake. The son who should've been a daughter so at least I'd have been useful for a marriage alliance.
"So he exiled me. Sent me to Riverview—a backwater nobody wanted—and paid me off with a mansion in the middle of nowhere and a Lamborghini like they were consolation prizes for not mattering. Gave me the restaurant, the territory, the illusion of power." I pause. "But we both know what it really was. A burial. He wanted me gone. Out of sight. No longer his problem."
Jino's jaw tightens.
"Marco and Angelo have families. Real lives. Sunday dinners at Mama Bavga's estate aren't a requirement for appearances. They're real to them. They have Salvatore's approval. His blessing. His pride." My voice turns bitter. "I got exile. I got isolation. I got reminded every single day that I don't belong."
I step closer to Jino.
"So yes. I handed them over. Because they were never mine to protect. If it's not something you can live with, you have every right to walk out tonight." Then I look at Emmaleen and give her the same option. "Same goes for you, Emmaleen."
She looks aghast. Points to herself. "Why would I walk out? I'm not walking out. I'm walking in!" She's smiling now, but she won't be in a couple more minutes.
I put up a finger. "Hold that thought." Then I look at Lorcan. He's pale now. I suck in a breath, then nod. "Yeah," I answer his unspoken question. "I did."
"Did what?" Jino asks.
"It's time, Lorcan," I tell my best friend.
"Time for what?" Jino demands.
I ignore Jino now, focused only on Lorcan. "I made a new blood oath with Luca."
"I told Luca about the girl," I say quietly.
Lorcan's face drains of all color.
"I confessed. Told him I took full responsibility." I meet Lorcan's eyes. "I gave him the exact coordinates. GPS. Everything he needs to find her."
Jino looks between us, confused. "What girl? What the fuck are you talking about?"
I don't break eye contact with Lorcan.
"The blood oath between us is cancelled, Ó Fearghail. You don't owe me anything anymore. Not silence. Not loyalty. Not protection." I touch the collar of my ruined shirt. "My destruction now rests in Luca LaRiccia's hands. He can go to the authorities whenever he wants."
Lorcan stares at me.
Thirteen years of shared history presses between us like a living thing—the frozen ground, the shovel, the weight of keeping each other's worst secret. The thing we never spoke about. Not once. Not even drunk. Not even when it would've been easier.
"Why?" Lorcan's voice comes out raw.
"Thank you," I tell him simply. "You gave me everything when you took Emmaleen," I continue. "You kept her safe when I couldn't. You punished her when she needed it. You gave her Position Secunda, and Declan Cross, and made her come while praying." I blow out a breath. "You cared. That's basically what I'm saying. And I want you to know I saw that. So I'm giving you this. Your freedom. No more blood oath. No more mutually assured destruction."
"What the fuck are we talking about!" Jino is yelling now.
I look at Jino. At Emmaleen. At Lorcan standing frozen by the window.
"When Lorcan and I were seventeen, we had a regular arrangement with a girl from the town near St. Augustine's. She was twenty. She'd meet us at an abandoned church in the woods beyond campus."