Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 135539 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135539 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
I don’t want to think about that. But I must.
We act like a loving couple for the public, sharing a few kisses for show, smiling for the cameras. In private, however, we’re good friends. Affectionate friends. But there’s a definite line. I should know; I was very clear about putting it there. And August has no problem maintaining that line.
Oh, he flirts. He’s an expert at it, and when he does, I drink it down like fine wine. Being with August is like going on a dream vacation. Everything is beautiful. Vivid, fun, exhilarating. I’m more relaxed but also more present in the moment than I’ve ever been.
But like a vacation, this has an end date. And I’m not sure I can keep up with the act. Not when we’re alone, at any rate. I have to tell him how I feel. If only for my own mental well-being. It makes my heart hurt. Physically hurt.
My hand trembles so hard it’s difficult to text.
Pen: Come over. I’ll make you dinner
Pickle: Srsly? You’re my favorite girl, Pen
The sentiment has my lower lip wobbling. Why am I doing this? I don’t have to. I can keep going as we have been.
And become totally miserable.
Since August has some sort of freaky precognition when it comes to my text moods, I go flirty instead. Because if he asks what’s wrong now, I’ll lose it.
Pen: Men. Offer them food and they’re all smiles.
Pickle: See what happens if you add dessert onto that, Sweets. 😉
Oh, he’s so cute.
“Sooo cute,” I whisper, a bit weepy. I doubt most people realize that about him. What if I never get these kinds of texts again? The thought is intolerable.
Pen: Give me about an hour
Pickle: See you soon
“Shit.” I run a hand through my hair and sigh.
PennyWise: I think I liked it better when I didn’t have a pretend boyfriend
JuneBug: Trouble in paradise already?!? Say it ain’t so!
MayDay: if there is, it’s Augie’s fault
JuneBug: Obvs
MayDay: Because our Pen would never!
PennyWise: It’s NOT August’s fault. He’s fine. Great. Too great
PennyWise: I’m the problem.
MayDay: Problem= U want 2 ride him like a see-saw. Up. Down. Up. Down.
JuneBug: Gak. NO
PennyWise: She’s not wrong
MayDay: I knew it!!!!
PennyWise: Ugh. That was too much. I’m sorry. He’s your brother. I shouldn’t be talking to you two about this
JuneBug: Don’t you dare! You’re our bestie. Of course you talk about it to us. We’ll just mentally put someone else’s face on his while discussing.
MayDay: I vote Killian James
JuneBug: Ooh! Good one!
MayDay: He’s so hot and moody. Like liquid sex
PennyWise: We’re not going to impose a famous rock star’s face over August’s
MayDay: ):-I
JuneBug: She’s a salty one
MayDay: What’s the problem, Pen?
PennyWise: Acting like it’s real makes it feel real. Then I’ll remember it’s not, and nothing feels real.
MayDay: (o_O)
JuneBug: That actually makes sense to me. How do you know what’s true when you’re lying to everyone?
MayDay: Harsh
PennyWise: June’s right. It’s like that line in A Room with a View, when Mr. Emerson says to Lucy, “Why should they [trust you]? When you’ve deceived everyone, including yourself?”
MayDay: Juney, she’s quoting old movies. She’s in a bad way
PennyWise: It’s a costume drama, not an old movie
MayDay: and when was it made, professor?
PennyWise: 1985 is not THAT old
MayDay: >_<
PennyWise: >:-P
JuneBug: Anyway! How do you know it isn’t real? I get that Augie asked you to “fake” it with him. But he’s not exactly the faking type. IDT he has it in him to pretend. If he isn’t into something he just checks out. If he is? He’s all in.
MayDay: this is true. Sure he’s got his public “game face” but in private? It’s pretty clear exactly where you stand with him
PennyWise: That’s what I thought—before he did a 180 on me! He went from mild politeness our whole lives to giving me his complete flirtatious attention.
JuneBug: it happens like that sometimes. See someone again . . . Boom! Wham! Helloooo, gorgeous!
PennyWise: No, no. He said he knew I was a safe pick for this . . . charade because I wouldn’t fall for him! Then he said he’d never fall for me because football is all that matters to him. What am I supposed to think with that hanging over my head?
MayDay: Ok. He’s an idiot
JuneBug: Deluded at best. Careless at worst
PennyWise: No, he’s great
JuneBug: PENNY!
PennyWise: Sigh
( . . . )
PennyWise: He’s coming over for dinner. I’m going to tell him
MayDay: WHAT R U TELLING HIM???
PennyWise: That I can’t do this anymore
MayDay: O.O
JuneBug: If you’re asking for advice, and I think you are since you texted, I’ll tell you this. The truth is always best. However! August puts on a good front but he’s incredibly sensitive. If you don’t want him to go into full retreat, tread lightly, my friend.
PennyWise: I know. That’s what’s scaring me. What if he goes back to cold politeness?