Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 135539 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135539 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
“Because not everyone expresses happiness the same way. In fact, not everyone has it in them to be happy at all times. Some of us have down times.”
“Some of us?” It comes out a choked laugh. What the fuck? Seriously, what is going on? I’ve never seen this side of her.
Maybe she’s hormonal. I immediately swat that idea aside. If she is, asking will get my balls crushed. That much I know.
“Are you suggesting I don’t have bad moods?” I say instead.
“No, yes.” She waves a hand in the air. “You know what pisses me off?”
“Not right now, no.” Hand to God, I’m fucking baffled at this point.
“You’re so happy!” It explodes out of her like an accusation.
I blink down at her, rooted to the spot by confusion. “My happiness pisses you off?”
“No! Yes! Argh!” Again she flings out her arms, and then starts to pace. “For twenty-odd years, I thought I knew who you were. But that August Luck was even-tempered and well-focused on his sport. He did not go around all happy-go-lucky. He didn’t smile at the drop of a hat!” At this she halts, putting the bed between us, and points a finger in my direction like I’m exhibit A. “So I have to conclude that I never truly saw you.”
She stands there, arms crossed, chest heaving. Sparks shine in her eyes, and I swear, even that turns me on. Or it would if I didn’t feel like I’ve just been blindsided and left on the proverbial ground.
I have no idea why she’s saying all this now, but it hurts. More than that, it pisses me off. “Boy, when you’re wrong, you just go all-out wrong, don’t you?”
“What?” Her shocked tone almost makes me laugh.
Almost.
“Let me see if I’ve got this straight.” I hold up a hand to count my so-called transgressions. “You’ve always viewed me a certain way, and it didn’t include this ‘happy’ me, and because of that, it’s your conclusion that I’ve been . . . What, hiding myself from you before? Is that it?”
“Well . . . I . . .” Her gaze darts away then back as if she’s valiantly trying to hold on to her moral ground. Not happening.
“Did it ever fucking occur to you that the reason you see me so happy now, the reason I smile, as you say, at the drop of a hat, is because of you!”
The shout echoes between us, and she flinches. And I don’t want to feel bad about that. Not now when anger and hurt pummel my gut.
“Seriously, Pen? Is this denial or delusion? Either way, you’re now pissing me off!” I run my hands through my hair. “How the hell can’t you see it?”
She frowns. Confused and flustered.
I throw out an imploring hand. “I fucking light up whenever you’re near. My ‘happiness’ is tied directly to you, and you refuse to see it!”
Her brows snap together. “Stop air quoting my words back to me!”
“That’s all you have to say?”
Pen has the grace to flush. “I’m thinking.”
“Oh, now she thinks.”
Glaring, she looks away. “Your sarcasm sucks.”
“Yeah? Well . . .” I got nothing. I’m drained.
“August?”
“What?” It comes out waspish. Last thing I want to do is answer any more of her accusations.
She reaches me in three quick paces, plastering herself against me and wrapping her arms around my waist. “I’m sorry.” She hugs me tight. “I’m so sorry, August.”
It takes me a second because she’s quick, and I didn’t expect this. My heart turns over in my chest, and all the lingering fight falls away. I rest my cheek on the top of her head and hold on.
“It’s okay,” I tell her.
“No, it’s really not. I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m really messed up—” She cuts herself off and kisses the center of my chest. “You make me happy too.”
Well, good. That’s good. Because I need her happiness.
She kisses me again, softly, before pressing her cheek to my sternum. Her voice grows small and muffled. “Part of me doesn’t like it.”
She leans back, and her brown eyes are glossy with remorse. “If you have the power to make me this happy, then you also have the power to make me miserable.”
It shouldn’t make me feel better, but it does. Maybe we’re both messed up. Sighing, I lean my forehead against hers.
“It goes both ways, Penny love. You can level me without half trying.”
A fine shudder works over her frame. “I really am sorry.”
“No, don’t. Sweets . . .” I kiss her cheek, the damp heat of her temple. “It’s over. Okay?”
Her answer is a small shake of the head. For a long moment, we’re still. Pen smooths my chest with soft pets like she’s trying to soothe me. I let her do it, because it feels good. My eyes close, and I stroke her hair, letting the silk of it run over my fingers.