Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 113130 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 566(@200wpm)___ 453(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113130 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 566(@200wpm)___ 453(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
“I’m going to be involved,” I state tightly.
“I’m just saying you don’t have to be,” she counters, and my feet close the distance to her. There is no decision to be made of if I’m not going to be in my child’s life. The answer would have always been what I’m going to tell her now.
“I’m in this, Ariella,” I tell her, bending my head and putting my forehead on hers. “I’m all fucking in this.”
twelve
Ariella
The nausea from being here and telling him he’s going to be a father teeters on the edge as I try to focus on him and his eyes, instead of the way my stomach is reacting. “I’m just saying you don’t have to be.” All I can do is stand here and stare at him. Even as I say the words, I’m secretly hoping he isn’t going to bail on me and our child. But for the last two days, I’ve tried to convince myself that if bailing is what he chooses, I have to respect that. I mean, I wouldn’t be happy, nor would it be easy, especially if down the line, if he got married to someone else and they had a child. But it was what I would have to do and I would respect his decision but I don’t think I’d ever be able to respect him.
My heart hammers even faster in my chest as he closes the distance to me. Even if I wanted to move, my feet feel like they are stuck to the floor. “I’m in this, Ariella,” he assures me as he bends his head and puts his forehead on mine. “I’m all fucking in this.” He holds out his hand now, his pinky up and for the first time in a while I laugh a real fucking laugh.
“It’s okay if you aren’t. You could even take a couple of days and think about it. I’ve known for a week and it’s still a big adjustment for me, so I can’t even imagine how you are feeling.”
“I said I was in this”—he moves away from me, holding out his hand—“and I mean that I’m in this. I’m scared as fuck, but I think that we’ve got this.”
“You aren’t the only one who is scared out of their mind,” I tell him. “I went through all of the fear, excitement, happiness, a lot of confusion.” I trail off and the hand that is not holding up his pinky grips the side of my neck. “But this just feels right.” I chuckle. “Which is weird, right?”
“It does feel right, doesn’t it?” he says and I don’t know if he’s just saying this to calm me down.
“We can’t change it.” I hold up my hand and slip my pinky with his. “Okay, but promise me that if at any time this isn’t what you want, you’ll tell me.”
“Pinky promise,” he says as our hands move up and down a couple of times.
Dropping our hands he comes to me, holding my face in his hand and putting his lips on mine. His tongue slides into my mouth as his hand comes up to the side of my neck and the other hand wraps around my waist, pulling me to him. His hand quickly moves from my waist down to my ass. “This feels like déjà vu.” I let go of his lips for a second to make a joke.
“You’ve got the nicest ass I’ve ever seen,” he states mid-laugh while he squeezes it.
“You’ve got some really nice things on you as well,” I return as I kiss him mid-giggle.
“I missed you,” he says softly, his fingers coming up to touch my face and then he drops to his knees in front of me. Both his hands cover my belly before he moves my shirt up and kisses me softly. My hand comes up to hold his head. “Hi,” he says to my stomach as if I’m not even here, “you might have been wondering where I was.”
“I don’t think the baby has been wondering that at all.” He looks up at me and the look is so intense it takes my breath away.
“I’m here now,” he tells my stomach, “and I’m not going anywhere.” He looks up at me when he says the last part even though his mouth is on my stomach. He gets back up to his feet, wrapping his hand around my waist. The conversation that he just had with our child makes my feet frozen on the spot. The connection between us is feeling so much stronger than it felt that first night.
His lips fall onto mine softly before he pulls me up, and my legs automatically wrap around his waist. He turns and makes his way toward the stairs. “Your eyes,” he says before he takes another step, “the second thing I love about you.” I can’t help but smile.