Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
“Don’t lie. You love it. I know you do.”
“You wish,” I tossed back.
“More than I should.” He opened the door and motioned for me to go through it as if he hadn’t just dropped that bombshell on me. We were playing with fire, he and I. And even though I was afraid of getting burned, I didn’t know how to make myself stop.
“Sit down,” I said to him when we got downstairs. “I’ll get our coffee, and you can start on your forms.”
They weren’t too busy, so it wasn’t long before I joined him, Ryder working away at making Luke his buddy.
“You like him.” I set the cup in front of him.
“I do. He’s a good kid. He reminds me of myself in some ways.”
“I can see that. You’re both good with people. You’re natural caregivers.” He’d been that way with Maddy, and I could see it in Luke when he was talking to Layla or any of the other young kids.
“You’re the caregiver.”
“Nah, not like that. I am with my patients. I’m good with the kids. I’ll never give up on them, but I’m not good with everyday people that way.”
Ryder frowned. “I don’t think you see yourself clearly at all, Hutch. I have no doubt you’re good with your patients, and you might not let people in, but you’re good with people too, and you’re a caregiver. Layla looks at you like you hung the moon. Mads is the same. She always adored her big brother.”
The mention of my sister made acid eat away at my gut. It was a reminder that this friendship was behind her back.
“Shit. I fucked up, didn’t I?” Ryder said.
“No. I already felt guilty before that.”
“Because we’re friends?”
“Because I still want you,” I admitted. “But maybe because we’re friends too.”
He chuckled. “It’s not your fault I’m irresistible.”
“I guess it’s not yours that I am either.”
“But we’re just friends, remember, so it’s okay. I’m not letting you out of our friendship that easily. I know you, and I know you’d walk away if I let you.”
That was my typical MO, but the truth was, I couldn’t say I would do the same with him. I was pretty sure I’d take whatever Ryder would give me, and that truth was…difficult to digest. Leave it to me to finally find a person I wanted beyond a night or two, and it was someone I could never have.
“You’re not the boss of me, Ryder.”
“See? It never would have worked anyway. We both like to be in control too much.”
I leaned in, shrugged, and said, “But maybe that would have made it more fun.” It had that night on the app.
Ryder cocked a brow. “Be good. You’re gonna get us both in trouble.”
I held my hands up in surrender. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Oh God. Shut up. That was a sex voice, and you know it. You totally just tried to use on me the charm that gets people into bed.”
“It just happened. I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m just so damn good that it’s impossible to turn it off.”
Ryder rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged at his lips, showing me the dimples he’d had since he was a kid.
I cleared my throat. “Fill out your paperwork.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Now you’re getting the hang of how this works.”
“Remind me to kick your ass later,” he countered.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll be sure to do that.”
“Be quiet so I can get this finished.”
We drank our coffee, and when the paperwork was ready, I went upstairs with him to give it to Gabby. I could see the want in him, the excitement Ryder had at going through this process with Luke. I was honored that I got to see this part of him, that I got to share this with him.
Even though I had no reason to, I hung around while he talked to Gabby, walked outside with him afterward, asked, “Where’d you park?” and followed him when he pointed to the right, despite it being in the opposite direction from where I needed to go.
“What are you doing right now?” Ryder asked when we got to his car.
“I have to run by Atlanta General. We have a meeting.”
“What are you doing tonight?”
I shrugged but didn’t answer, knowing I should say no to his next question, but that I wouldn’t, even if I ended up hating myself even more for it.
“Come over. We can make dinner together. Friends are allowed to make dinner together.”
“Ryder…”
“I know…fuck, I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” He leaned against the car, buried his face in his hands.
“Yes. Just dinner.”
“Just dinner,” he confirmed.
Anything else was off-limits, and we both knew it.
12
Ryder
I went by the store after I left the hospital. I tried not to let myself overthink having dinner with Hutch, because if I did, that meant I planned for something more than dinner to happen, and I didn’t. There was no reason to stress over dinner with a friend, which was what I was doing.