Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 80454 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 402(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80454 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 402(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
“What did you just say to me?” he growls.
I push against his chest, wanting to get away.
“What did you just say?!” he roars.
My body stills, and I lean away from him. “I said I didn’t want any of this,” I whisper, closing my eyes.
“No, Myla. You said you didn’t ask to fall in love.”
“I never said that.” I open my eyes and then close them when I realize he is right—I did say that.
Shit, that was not good. Not good at all.
“Do you think you’re the only one with shit on the line here? Do you think it’s easy for me to know that the woman I married—the woman I love—has a fucking target on her back? One that gets bigger every fucking day I spend with her? I make that shit worse. Knowing I could be the reason she’s hurt—or worse—but not having the fucking balls to stay away from her because I knew she was meant to be mine from the moment I met her when I was ten years old…” He pauses, taking a breath. “This isn’t fucking easy, Myla, but nothing good ever is.”
His hand comes to wrap around the back of my neck, and his face dips closer to mine. “I understand that you need me to be honest with you, but I know—I fucking know—there is shit you’re keeping from me as well. Shit that is big. So big that it forced you away from your family.”
I inhale, feeling my pulse spike.
“I have let you have that, been waiting for you to figure out when you would be ready to talk to me about it, not wanting to push you too hard.” He pauses again.
My insides feel like they are going to collapse in on me with the weight of his words.
“I should have told you about the shit your dad left you, but I didn’t really see the point in doing that. You will never touch the money that comes from that land, even if we’re not together. I won’t allow you to touch it because it’s fucking dirty. The men who want it are not good men, and I mean they are not good men in a way that they will kill you without even thinking twice about it. That is not what I want for you, and that sure as fuck is not what I want for any children we bring into this world.”
His hand lets me go and he takes a step back. “So you can be mad that we didn’t talk about it, but you need to get over it and trust me.” His jaw ticks and his hands fist before his voice softens to a tone I have never heard from him before. One that makes my insides feel like they have withered up and died. “This is what I was raised to do, and no one—not even you—will stop me from doing that.” He snarls the last words then storms off down the hall.
I stand there stunned for a moment as tears fall down my cheeks before walking to our room, where I start the shower, pull my wet clothes off, and get in. Then I slide to the floor, letting all of his words sink in. He loves me. He said that he loves me in a way that I know he really meant it, and I have no doubt that it is true.
I also believe him. He wouldn’t want me to deal with anything that came from the money from the casino, and if I were honest with myself, I wouldn’t want anything to do with that money either. My parents died, and before they did that, they’d sent me away, never wanting what was happening to them to touch me. I hate that I didn’t have them, but for me, the idea of growing up knowing that the things I had around me had been purchased with dirty money didn’t sit well with me.
I would never want that. And I understand why Kai has been working so hard to get his family out of the business they are in. I wrap my arms around my legs, put my forehead on my arms, and let the tears fall. I don’t know how long I sit on the shower floor, but when I sit up, my body is stiff and the tears have finally started to lessen. I get up and take my time washing myself, not wanting to face the consequences of my actions.
It’s so hard to trust anyone. And even though Kai has never given me a reason to doubt him, I have. I get out of the shower, go to the bedroom, and crawl under the covers without even drying off. I know I need to go find Kai and apologize for running out on him without giving him a chance to explain, and then I need to apologize for acting like a crazy women. Then I need to tell him that I love him and hope he forgives me.