Total pages in book: 192
Estimated words: 192810 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 964(@200wpm)___ 771(@250wpm)___ 643(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 192810 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 964(@200wpm)___ 771(@250wpm)___ 643(@300wpm)
“Okay,” I whispered.
He released a heavy sigh and stated, “I hesitate to share this, but I hope you come to understand, in my position, this isn’t expected, and is sometimes actively discouraged. I wasn’t in love with her. I cared for her, had affection for her, was attracted to her, but I didn’t love her.”
“Okay,” I repeated.
“Bloody hell, I fucked this,” he muttered.
“No, it’s all right,” I assured. “We would have to talk about it. And I get you. I’m relieved you understand what I do for work isn’t a job, it’s part of who I am, and if I wasn’t able to do it how I have to do it, I don’t know how I’d react. I don’t think I could live with that. So yeah. I get you.”
“I’m glad.”
“But, since you two broke it off, are there political ramifications? And since we’re, well…what we are, and that will eventually be known, will that cause more problems?”
“Anna will be pissed. Although how she gives it, and expects to get it, is unhealthy, the bottom line is, she was in love with me.”
Fabulous.
“Queen Delanta isn’t my biggest fan,” he went on.
Queen Delanta of Dawn’s Break was a classist bitch, that was well-known, so screw her.
“King Dagsbrun is very well aware his daughter is a pain in the ass and that I’m not a man to be leashed, so it was obvious he was expecting it. And Prince Bainan was surprised we ever got together in the first place.”
That was a relief.
“So that’s good.”
“It is, but it doesn’t matter. It’s over and fate has decided my queen. Fortunately for me, fate has excellent taste.”
Even if his words made me feel gushy, I gave him the side eye. “You’re very smooth.”
“Yes, darling,” he drawled. “I very much am.”
My legs grew restless at his promise.
Nova lifted her head.
Jupiter, who lay close to my feet, jumped off the bed to share his aversion to me reminding him I existed.
“And now, I’ll let you finish your 3D so you can sleep,” he finished.
“All right.”
“Just so you know, you can comm anytime. If I can’t take it, I’ll reach out when I can.”
I smiled at him. “All right.”
“Sleep well, Laura.”
“You too, Aleksei. ’Night.”
“’Night, darling.”
We disconnected.
I didn’t finish my design.
I set the tablet aside, stroked Nova, then stroked Comet when he joined us, settling down my side facing away, his indication he wanted booty scratches (something he got).
And I processed through all Aleksei had told me.
What was left unsaid: he was bitter, and maybe hurt, that in what had happened with Anna, he’d lost a friend.
But she was then.
And I was now.
I was also the future.
So I could live with that.
The only problem was, Aleksei was honest, forthcoming, committed to sharing, allowing me to get to know him, doing it easily, quickly and deeply.
This meant, eventually, I’d have to give that back.
And I dreaded that eventuality…for two reasons.
But eventually wasn’t now.
Now was about Aleksei saying, Bloody hell, I fucked this, in a tone where the silk of his voice snagged, because it meant so much to him not to fuck it because he didn’t want to upset me.
And I could very happily live in a now like that.
So I would.
“Lights off,” I called.
My room went dark.
And in the middle of kitty strokes and booty scratches, without that first issue, I fell fast asleep.
I did it deeply.
And I didn’t dream, not good ones, but better, not bad.
Chapter 12
Cancer
I was running between bathroom, closet and bedroom in a tizzy.
I should have cancelled my instruction with Madam Garwah that night. Attending it didn’t give me enough time to get ready for the showing without rushing, and I hated to rush.
But if I had cancelled, how would I have moved from what fork, spoon, wineglass (etc.) to use and what topics of conversation were acceptable with my dinner companion, depending on if he was an aristocrat, a peer or a statesman, to acceptable behavior in a receiving line, of which (it had become clear Madam Garwah knew my future before I did), I would eventually be the one receiving, rarely the one shuffling through the line?
I needed to be ready for what was to come, and I couldn’t miss a day.
Although I’d heard nothing from Aleksei since his return comm after I’d left him an audio message that morning (during which he’d shared it was still iffy he’d be able to attend the showing), there was a small chance I not only would be attending him as a royal that night, but also his sister.
Though, I’d also heard from him the day before. He’d given me a good morning comm, which was short since he had to make a meeting, and a goodnight one, which was much longer and fortunately just flirty and chatty. We didn’t get in to anything deep.
Not that I didn’t want to know him deeply, but it had been intense, and it was clear we both could use a break.