Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
“Why no fingerprints?” Una asked.
Finn cleared his throat. “Mother Nature has a way of removing them.”
Una looked puzzled, then her eyes went wide. “Oh. Oh.”
Confused, I looked at her, and Una mimed biting her nails. Theatrically. For a moment, I was startled, and then I turned my face, coughing to cover a little laugh. One animal destroyed by another one.
“He deserved it,” Una stated.
I nodded, shifting in my chair to face Niall. I felt his hands playing in my hair, trying to comfort me.
“Maybe we should discuss it?” I asked.
“It’s your decision. I think you’d like it here. Great staff. And you’d be safe.” His gaze was reassuring, and I had the feeling he wanted me to take the offer.
I turned back to Finn. “I accept.”
“Great. I’ll get the paperwork in order with HR. You can take a little more time to recover and start next week.”
“Okay.”
Niall stood. “You look pale and should probably lie down.”
I stood as well, hesitating, then leaned down and hugged Finn. “Thank you, Finn. I see why you’re Una’s hero.”
He was stiff for a moment, then returned the gesture. “Thank you.”
Upstairs, Niall showed me the adjoining room to his. I walked around, noting the feminine touches. I looked at him hesitantly.
“My mum’s,” he explained. “When she comes to visit, this is where she stays. Finn keeps it for her.”
“Won’t she mind my using it?”
“Not at all.”
I sat down, my heart feeling heavy. “You want me out of your room, of course,” I said, trying to sound light. “You need your space.”
Before he could say anything, I laughed. It sounded forced even to my ears. “You must be tired of babysitting a silly woman.”
He was in front of me instantly, gripping my hands. “You are not silly. You went through hell.”
I shrugged, not meeting his eyes. He slid a hand under my chin. “Finn offered another room in the hotel. I wanted you closer.”
“But gone,” I whispered.
“Anna,” he groaned.
“I get it, Niall.”
“No, you don’t.” He stood, pacing. “You look at me like I’m some sort of hero, Anna. I’m not. I’m not a good guy. What I do is dangerous at times. For me. For those around me.”
“I know that. It doesn’t change what I feel.”
He shook his head. “I think what you feel is hero worship. You’re upset and confused. I’m safe.”
“It’s more,” I insisted.
“You think that way because I kissed you. Your first real kiss. That will pass.”
“What do you feel?” I asked, standing. “Pity?”
“No.”
“What, then?”
He glared at me. “I’m attracted to you, Anna. I admit that. But I’m not what you’re looking for. You deserve a house and kids. A husband who comes home every night and helps you tuck them into bed, then takes you to his bed and loves you properly.”
“And you’re not that guy?”
“No.”
“Then why keep me close?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I do care, just not the way you need. I can check on you here. If you want privacy, you can close the door. We can share a meal if you want.”
“Like buddies?” I said sarcastically.
“I think with some distance and time, you’ll see I’m right.”
“I thought you felt it. You certainly felt as if you did the other night.”
He drew in a deep breath. “You are beautiful. Sexy. You were in my bed. But I can’t take that from you, Anna. It belongs to the man you give your heart to.” He frowned. “Because, what I know of you, once you give your heart, it will be forever.”
I blinked, refusing to cry. “Well, maybe the second time that happens, it will be true.”
I brushed past him, stopping when he wrapped his hand around my arm. “Anna.”
I faced him, suddenly angry. “What, Niall? What do you want me to say?”
“That you understand. This is for the best. You can stay here, be close, and I’ll be there if you need me.”
“Like a brother.”
“A friend. I can’t be more. I don’t know how. Relationships and I—we don’t mix. They always fail.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I’m trying to be honest with you.”
I dashed away the tears forming in my eyes. “Fine. When you decide to be honest with yourself, let me know.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“There is something between us. I feel it. I don’t have a lot of experience, but I feel it.”
He tugged on his hair, then stepped close. “You want the truth? I want you. I want to kiss you. Hold you. Fuck you. Claim your first time. But that isn’t mine to have.”
“Why?”
“Because there would be no future. I would use you for a while, and we’d be done.”
“Why are you saying that?”
“It’s how I am!” He paced again, upset. “I’m not normal. I don’t have the same heart, like Finn or Roman. I don’t connect with people. I don’t want the same things. I don’t want a future.”