Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 119852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 599(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 599(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” I say, staring into eyes that are jarringly similar to my own. “You and Riley?”
He nods solemnly. “I was a shell of a man for a long time. I’m better now, thanks to her. Feeling that difference so acutely?" He flinches like he can still feel the echoes of his former self. “Let’s just say the last thing I would ever wish on anyone, least of all you, is for you to feel alone. So if they help you feel differently, I support that. I don’t understand it… at all. But I support you. Unequivocally.”
The small moment feels huge, healing a rift I don’t think either of us realized existed between us. Not trusting myself to speak, I nod once, acknowledging his words.
“You just couldn’t make it easy on yourself, though, could you?” He chuckles. “I’m sure there are a dozen guys who’d line up to date the infamous Kayla Harrington, who’d treat you like a queen and let you boss them around like the bitch you like to be.” His grin grows as he teases me, and I flip him off in return. “But no, you had to go find two… two,” he repeats, more emphatically, “Neanderthals who beat up on people for a living while chasing a puck around the ice, to what… fulfill some kinky fantasy?”
There’s no shame in his words, just a desire to understand what the hell I’m doing. Well, that makes two of us.
I smile slightly. “It’s not about the sex.” He tilts his head, his brows lifted doubtfully. “Okay, not only about the sex. Which is mind-blowing.”
He flinches, wincing at the unintended enthusiasm in my voice. “Could we not talk about that?”
I smile bigger. “Deal. It’s more than that. Or I think it is.” My eyes drift off as I think through what I’m feeling, trying to put it into words. “I can relax with them. Like you said, guys want to date The Kayla Harrington, but to Riggs and Maddox, I’m just Kayla.”
“You are never just Kayla, and if you think you are, I have an oceanfront deal in Arizona I’d like to pitch for your personal portfolio.”
I laugh at his version of a joke, then argue, “But I am. They’re not impressed by all the Harrington bullshit, or the Blue Lake prestige. To them, I’m funny and messy and—” I freeze, reflexively quieting the slip-up exposure of too many weaknesses. Years of giving carefully curated responses and presenting an image of perfection is a hard habit to break, and even as Cameron seems to be opening up to this new development, I don’t want to reveal too much, trust too soon.
Changing gears, I ask, “Do you know what we did this weekend?”
Cameron winces again, clearly anticipating my answer, and I roll my eyes.
“Not that. Well, okay, that too. But we went to a cabin in the woods. Totally spontaneously, said ‘someday’, and then decided why not now? We drove out to the middle of nowhere, to this cute little place with no Wi-Fi or fancy luxuries. Just the three of us. We stargazed, hiked, and took a breath.” My eyes close wistfully as I remember the sanctuary of the last few days, and I take another deep breath before slowly exhaling, wishing I were back at that cabin. When I open my eyes again, I finish by saying, “It was the best weekend I’ve had in years.”
It’s not an adequate explanation for the shift that happened inside me over the weekend, but I don’t know how to say it so Cameron will understand. I’ve spent my entire life living for this company, for this family, much the way my father and brother did. I’ve been so intent on proving myself worthy that I never created a life outside those boundaries. And now, I want to. I am.
Cameron’s gaze is thoughtful, and he looks at me carefully, almost slightly in awe of what he sees. “You smile when you talk about them. I don’t think I realized that I haven’t seen you smile in a long time until just now.”
Instantly, the smile disappears from my face. He’s right. I haven’t smiled in a while. There’s been no real reason to. Sure, I celebrate closing a contract and have fun with Grace and my sisters in law, but actually smile? No. Not from within.
“I don’t understand it,” he admits. “And it’s going to be rough when people find out. But if this is what you want, I’ll back your play.”
That means more to me than he could possibly realize.
“What made you change your mind?” His answer is important, mostly because I recognize that I’m rocking the foundation of everything that everyone thinks of me. Myself included. Learning how Cameron came to be so accepting about the whole thing might help me with my other brothers, as well as my own acceptance of this firestorm I never planned to be in the middle of.