Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 119852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 599(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 599(@200wpm)___ 479(@250wpm)___ 400(@300wpm)
“What crawled up your ass and died?” Maddox pants, never slowing his pace on the treadmill. He’s going for stamina and endurance, so he’s been running for almost half an hour, and he’ll keep that same speed and intensity for another half hour at least.
The season might’ve ended weeks ago, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to slack off. No, during the off-season, we have a different, but no less serious, training regimen. First, we have to get our bodies back to ground zero after the months of deficit upon deficit, which includes lots of physical therapy, rehab of any injuries, and if we’re unlucky, surgery. Thankfully, we’ve been lucky fuckers so far, and our plan is to mostly rest our abused and overused bodies. Then, the rebuilding truly begins, prepping for the next run of games that always come sooner than you think they will when you’re staring at the empty stretch of months on the calendar.
“Nothing.” Done with his interrogation, I start loading the bar with more plates, adding them up in my head as I decide whether I’m going for a new personal record today. The physical punishment sounds like a good idea, like a way to feel something other than this damned ache in my chest. I sense Maddox’s eyes on me, but I ignore him. I’ve been doing that a lot lately because he’s right. I’ve been a grumpy asshole, even for me.
I know why—her. I know when and where my bad mood started down to the time on the clock and the GPS coordinates—nine o’clock, in that hotel bed.
That morning, I’d woken up smiling for the first time in years, reaching for the blonde angel from the night before, only to find that I was in bed with my best friend, who was still snoring, and there was no Kay snuggled between us. Disappointment had been instantaneous and has only grown since, leaving a black hole in my life where she’s supposed to be.
That sounds stupid. It was one night, nothing more. Especially since Maddox and I have had threesomes before—not a lot, but enough times to know how they usually go. Wild, hot sex and then we never see her again. That’s the deal. But what we did with Kay wasn’t usual in any way. There was no Twister game of what goes where, with a tangle of arms and legs and dicks, and no awkward self-consciousness. It was real and natural, and yeah, hot as fuck. And the all-night pillow talk was easy and comfortable, something I never am with strangers.
She was everything I’ve ever hoped for. That night was amazing. And I can’t help wondering where she is out there, how she’s doing, and if she’s okay back in her regular life or if she’s still having shitty days that I could make better.
Not that I’ve shared any of those thoughts with Maddox.
Despite our sharing everything, I’ve kept this to myself for the last two months, initially distracting myself as best I could with a busy schedule of games and travel, and once the season ended a month ago, with daily sessions in the gym, torturing myself with heavier and heavier weights, putting on a lot of solid muscle in just the last few weeks.
I don’t know why I haven’t told him. He wouldn’t judge me. He’d probably tease the fuck out of me, but he’d also help me get my head right… again. He’s good at that. When my mind slips to dark places, like how I’m not worth the oxygen I breathe, Maddox is always the one to pull me back from the brink with good-natured taunts and surprising insights to my psyche. Not that my brain is all that complex. I’m half-Neanderthal as it is.
Weights on the bar, I lie down on the bench and set my hands, prepping mentally and physically for what I’m about to do.
“Fuck you too, then,” Maddox murmurs under his breath. I hear the beep of the treadmill’s buttons and his footsteps start landing harder as he speeds up.
He’s so tired of my shit. I guess he can join the club because I am too. Tired of looking at every blonde I see, hoping it’ll be her, and then being disappointed time after time when it’s not, because it never is. Tired of waking up with my arms empty and my cock hard, wishing she were here with me. Tired of wanting to talk to someone, and even though Maddox is here, staying quiet because I want her sassiness and fiery comebacks, not his jovial bro-shit.
I unrack the bar and brace, lowering it to my chest with full control, pausing for a half second before I fight with everything I have to slowly start pushing it up. It’s heavy, too heavy, and there’s a point when I think I’m not going to make it. A noise rumbles in my chest, and instantly, Maddox is hovering over me. “You got it. Push, push, push.”