Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 75414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
“No. He just… always comes here.” It had been a week. Ten days, actually, since I moved back in. And as much as I loved his visits, it hurt more each time I had to watch him leave.
Did I worry that those feelings were too needy?
Sure.
But after everything I’d been through, I was choosing to let myself cling to the good. Nave included.
“Well, the answer seems easy, doesn’t it?” When I didn’t immediately answer, Ria shook her head. “Go to him.”
“But I have no reason to go there.”
“You don’t need a reason to go hang out with your man.”
“What if he’s not there?”
“Then you can wait for him. In bed. Naked.”
That wasn’t a bad idea.
“I haven’t really driven since coming to town,” I admitted.
“Babe, you drove for, what, five days straight to get here? I think you can manage ten minutes down the street to the clubhouse.”
“You’re right,” I agreed.
“Of course I am. I’ll even puppy-sit Edith for you, so you guys don’t have to untangle limbs to take her out or feed her.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”
“I think Edith might insist on it,” she said, waving over toward where Edith was tagging along behind her two giant dogs, happy as a clam.
“She’s never been without me.”
“I get that. My girls are my life too. They only had to do without me one night. I fell off a ladder while building the chicken coop, and the doctor insisted on observation for the night. They were fine with Kit. I was much less fine without them. I promise to call Nave if she seems even the least bit uncomfortable or like she’s looking for you.”
She meant that too.
“Okay then.”
“Now go shower and get yourself an all-night love session.”
With that, she got to her feet and started digging up the old, spent zucchini plants to make room for cold weather crops.
I started back to the motorhome, glancing back to make sure Edith wasn’t looking for me.
She didn’t even know I was gone.
I stripped, showered, shaved, and slathered on the lotion Ariah made for me, then gathered a few things, and made my way to the car.
My belly was doing little flips as I drove down the driveway, pausing to pull on my sunglasses and hat, before turning onto the main road.
I was sure at any moment, red and blue lights would flash, a siren would ring out, and I would be hauled off to jail for driving without a license and having a fake ID.
My palms grew sweaty at just the possibility.
But by the time I turned onto the main street in town, I hadn’t seen a single cop or trooper around.
Being the middle of the day, several bikes were still neatly lined up outside. The vampires weren’t awake yet, it seemed.
Even as I thought it, though, the most vampiric of them all—the tall, dark-haired Spike—made his way out from the side of the building, a hose in his hand.
“Hey, baby,” he called, waving a hand at me.
“Hey, Spike,” I said, approaching.
“You looking for Nave?”
“Yeah.”
“He ran out a little bit ago. But he’s never gone for long. Hang out,” he said, waving toward the clubhouse.
“I think I will,” I agreed, tamping down the urge to run.
These were his people. This was his place. I needed to feel comfortable in and around everyone without Nave as the buffer.
It was moments like this, as my belly wobbled when I entered the clubhouse without an explicit invitation from Nave, that I was reminded of what a different life I’d led for so long.
Maybe, had I never been locked up in the woods with a man bent on controlling everything about me, I would have naturally built a comfort around other people, would feel confident when it came to social interactions with acquaintances and strangers.
But I’d been tucked away from the world. I hadn’t spoken to another human being other than Ben for years.
Even my television was heavily controlled. I got to watch history documentaries and other educational programming. It seemed like a non-problem compared to everything else.
That said, now that I was looking back at it, I was seeing how insidious it was, how it was just another way he removed me from society. I couldn’t even watch people interact for entertainment. I wasn’t given the chance to fantasize about healthy, happy relationships with friends or lovers.
I was as isolated as a human being could be.
And, as I was sure was Ben’s intention, I eventually stopped thinking about things like friends, like life with a kind, supportive, and loving partner.
That was how you kept something captive: you killed its hope of having any other life.
I shuddered to imagine how long I might have stayed with Ben had I not gotten pregnant.
Would my whole life have passed me by?
At what point would Ben no longer want me?