Total pages in book: 149
Estimated words: 145731 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145731 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
My heart twists. When she puts it like that…“Well, he was hurting.”
“But did you put your heart on the line?” Leighton presses, gentle, but firm at the same time.
I look down, feeling sheepish. “No, I didn’t.” It comes out as a quiet confession.
“Maybe you should,” Mabel says.
I snap my gaze up. “Why? So he can hurt me?”
“No. So you can be honest with him—but also with yourself,” Sabrina says. “You weren’t sure you’d be ready to date after JD. Are you holding yourself back from going all in in case Rowan hurts you too?”
Am I? Her question hits close to home. To the close-held fears of my heart. I try to picture telling Rowan how I’ve fallen, but that sounds like a recipe for pain. I prefer pleasure, thank you very much. “I don’t know…”
“Think about it,” Mabel says. “He said he feels all these things for you. You’ll never know if you can work past this unless you tell him you do too.”
And I hate that she’s a little bit right.
When I leave, the books in tow, I head straight to the chalet in Evergreen Falls. I march into the ballroom where the gala will be held tonight. If I slip in and drop these off now, I won’t run into anyone. I’ll deliver the books, then wallow in Christmas cookies tonight at my parents’ place while watching one of their favorite holiday movies with them. After I tell them what happened.
And I will. I’ll come clean. They’ll understand why I did what I did. Why I said what I said.
I set down the books on a table by the doorway, glad to be done with this errand. But on the way out, I turn the corner in the hallway and run nearly smack into my brother.
Yup. Fate hates me. Big time.
“Hey,” Jason says. “How’s it going? You ready for the final…” He scans the hallway like he’s a sniper. “Fake-date tonight?”
I don’t even know what to say. The town thinks we’re real. My brother knows we were faking it. But I won’t even be there this evening. I can’t exactly tell him we’re ‘just friends’ now and we fake, but real, broke up before the gala.
Except…wait. I can, sort of.
“I was,” I say, all carefree and footloose. “But you know what? We realized it wasn’t necessary. Rowan’s perfectly capable of handling the gala solo. In fact, I recommended it. It’s what he needs most in the world.”
Jason’s brow furrows. “Seriously? You’re a matchmaker, and you believe that?”
“Sometimes,” I say, lifting my chin, “you make a match with yourself.”
When I return to the unloved shack, ready to pack up and go rot at my parents’ house for the night until I can finally hightail it out of town—and I plan on peeling out of Evergreen Falls like my wheels are on fire. Ironic—Christmas is usually my favorite time of the year, but now that I’ve been dumped the night before Christmas Eve…looks like I’ll be focusing on work again. As I get out of my car, ready to head inside, I spot a small red gift bag on the porch.
I pick it up, and my heart skitters. Inside is a box of salted caramels and a note. A lump rises in my throat as I reach for the card.
Maybe it’s a let’s try again note?
But I instantly berate myself for even wanting that.
With tentative fingers, I open the card.
I know the bet was for coming in first, but since your team beat mine, it only seems fair that you get these. Also, I just want you to have your favorite things.
“But you were my favorite thing, you stupid idiot.”
I take out a salted caramel and bite into it, but the sweetness doesn’t erase the bitter.
52
A LITTLE TEAMWORK
ROWAN
I’m an idiot.
I don’t have to go to the gala alone.
While skipping it sounds good to me, that won’t fly with the team. But there’s someone I know who would love to go to a big, festive Christmas party. And that someone lives with me.
As we’re walking Wanda that afternoon, and playing “Would You Rather: Christmas Edition,” Mia decides she’d rather have pointy ears than Rudolph’s red nose. “What would you choose?”
That word—choose—reverberates through me.
I made my choice. I chose to focus solely on my family. To make Mia my biggest priority. And she loves Christmas. She’s finally able to really celebrate it again, and honestly? I have Isla to thank for that. And soon, really soon, I’ll send her a proper thank you. Something more than salted caramels. Maybe some pretty new notebooks. Tickets to a Christmas concert for her favorite performer. Something that says I can’t stop thinking about her even if I can’t be with her.
And I can’t. I really can’t.
Love never works out. Someone always loves more, and someone always loves less. And someone always gets hurt. I just can’t put my heart on the line only for people to get hurt again. I’ll figure something out in the new year.