Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 106772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
“I definitely need friends.”
“You have them. Think about what I said. You’re not alone in this. Good night, Antonia. Thank you for a very memorable evening.”
“Thank you for mine,” I said and hung up before I could add anything more embarrassing. I wasn’t used to having a man bare his feelings this way. Brendan never told me he liked me without me asking if he did. I told him I loved him first. We rarely compromised on anything. The more I thought about him and our relationship, the more it became clearer that I’d been with him for the wrong reasons, and he’d been with me for . . . who the hell knew.
The water turned cold, and my thoughts never wavered from Weston and our moment together. I finally rinsed off, got out, and, once dressed, I snuck to the kids’ rooms to check on them.
At Nova’s room, I carefully turned the knob to open her door. She lay in her bed, with my mom’s arms wrapped tightly around her. The first couple of nights after Miri’s death, Nova had woken up screaming in the middle of the night. While this sleeping situation worked for now, my mom would go home tomorrow. Something told me Nova would end up crawling into my bed.
I walked to Cutter’s door, pressed my ear to it, and heard noises coming from his phone. A phone that wasn’t allowed in his room. I knocked softly, and the sound muted as I heard him say, “Come in.”
“Hey,” I said as I motioned toward the phone on his bed. “That’s not supposed to be in here.”
Cutter stood and handed me his phone. “Do you think we can revisit some of the rules we have in place?”
“Sure, with the understanding I may keep and alter them to my liking, and possibly add my own.”
He plopped against his bed. “Okay.”
“Can I come in?”
He lifted his head and looked at me, then sat up. “Yeah.”
I pushed the door toward the doorjamb but didn’t close it. Cutter’s desk faced the mural of a baseball field he and Miri had painted on his wall. I pulled out the chair that was tucked under it, removed the pile of clothing, and sat.
“How are you doing?”
He nodded and then shrugged. “I keep telling myself she’s on vacation, that she’s coming home, but then I remember, she’s not.”
“I know what you mean. I wanted to talk to you about your grandparents.”
“What’s wrong with Grandma and Grandpa?” Cutter’s eyebrows rose.
“My bad,” I said with a heavy sigh. “Kenneth and Victoria.”
Cutter rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why they showed up.”
“Me neither.” Except if I had to guess, it was because they wanted to save face with their friends. We tried, was what they’d go back and say to their church friends. “But they did, and they’d like to get to know you and Nova.”
“What if I don’t want to know them?”
“I’m going to say some adult crap that may or may not make sense, but it needs to be said because I don’t want how I feel or how your mom felt about them to influence your decisions. If you don’t want to know them, then you don’t have to. And if you do or if you want Nova to, then we do it on your terms, but I want you to think about it. Right now, we’re raw. We’re broken, and we’re hurting. Sometimes decisions like this, made when we’re feeling our worst, aren’t made with a full heart.”
“What does that even mean?”
I don’t freaking know.
“It means, if at some point you or Nova decide you want to, you dictate the time, place, and how much of a relationship you want with them. If it’s nothing, then it’s nothing. I will support you one hundred percent. If it’s something where you want them to come for lunch one day, so be it; we’ll have lunch.” I leaned forward, closer to him. “What I’m saying is, you set the rules.”
“Will they try and take Nova away from us?”
This, I didn’t know, but I suspected they might try. “I hired a lawyer before your mom died. Her will states I’m the sole guardian of you and Nova. No one can take you away from me, except the judge, and he’s going to see how much we love each other and rule in our favor. He may ask you some questions.”
“If he asks if your feet stink, I’m going to say yes.”
I lifted my foot and wiggled my toes.
Cutter batted my foot away and laughed. Damn, it sounded nice.
“Can he take us away?”
Cutter didn’t have to elaborate on who “he” was. I knew. I shook my head. “I’d move heaven and earth for you and Nova. Remember that. Get some sleep. Tomorrow, we’ll take it easy because on Monday, you’re playing in a very important game.”