Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
I studied my reflection and caught glimpses of the man I’d been before my divorce. My brows furrowed as I looked closer, searching for signs of how it made me feel, because when I turned inward, conflicting emotions pulled me in opposite directions, threatening to rip me in half.
Part of me remembered this feeling. I remembered how much I liked it.
Another part remembered the plummeting sensation when the eagerness, hope, and joy were ripped away. I remembered never wanting to feel that again. I remembered promising myself I wouldn’t.
But I’d never been in a situation that came close to making me even think about those feelings. I never allowed myself to. Until Aspen.
Standing there, finding hints of my old self felt a lot like reaching into the fire, hoping to not get burned.
No. No.
I stepped away.
I couldn’t get burned if I never got close enough.
Shaking myself back to reality, I combed my fingers through my hair and pulled my shoulders back, slipping into the calm, control of a Dominant. I had a submissive who’d performed beautifully tonight. It was my job to take care of her after—nothing more. All the rushing around had nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with the relationship we agreed upon.
Despite my bravado, my heart still thundered in my chest when I found her curled into a ball with her eyes closed, clutching the pillow to her chest as if searching for something to hold onto to keep herself grounded.
She complained when I pried the pillow from her grip, but I assured her she didn’t need the pillow when I was right there.
“Okay,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around my neck as I scooped her up and carried her to the bathroom.
“I’m going to undress you now,” I explained, sitting her on the bathroom counter. While I didn’t explain myself when we played, I knew how much she liked knowing what came next, so I took the time to tell her about each step in aftercare. It helped her relax and avoid spiraling into sub drop.
Her amber eyes locked on mine as I bared her soft skin and lush curves. I placed the diamond lingerie aside, promising myself I’d make her wear it one day around our home before I fucked her in it.
Later.
Again, I picked her up and carried her to the tub. She hissed when she came into contact with the water.
“Too hot?”
“No. Just need to get used to it,” she said, sinking against the tub, resting her head along the back ledge.
“Good. Now, just relax. Let me take care of you.”
Her eyes slid closed as I pulled a stool over to sit and washed her body. I would have thought she was asleep if it wasn’t for the occasional contented hums of pleasure.
“Thank you for tonight,” she said softly.
I wrung out the washcloth and rested my elbows on the tub. “How did tonight make you feel?” I asked, studying her face—not wanting to miss any detail of her response.
Her brow pinched as she rolled her lips between her teeth, the hesitation tightening around my chest while I waited for her answer. Unable to sit still, I smoothed my thumb along the groove between her brows, remembering a time I worked so hard to make it appear, and now wanting to do anything to ease the tension.
With a deep breath, the crease vanished, and she rolled her head to look at me, a smile sparking in her gaze. “Cherished. Powerful.”
My chest expanded too big for my skin—the sensation uncomfortable and easy all at once. I put that look there for her. I gave this to her. And the way she took it for herself—the way she allowed me to offer it, filled me with more pride than I knew what to do with.
“Good.” The word almost got caught in the lump in my throat, and I coughed before continuing. “You are both of those things.”
The crease reformed, and she looked away. “I haven’t been, though. Not for a while. Not really.”
“What do you mean?”
She glided her hands across the top of the water, creating soft waves that occasionally bared more of her chest, teasing me with glimpses of her nipples. I swallowed and ignored my hardening cock. Now wasn’t the time. I stayed silent, giving her as much time as she needed to process her thoughts. The way her teeth dug into her lip alluded to how difficult it was for her to say, making me all the more eager to hear it.
“I was always so in control of my emotions, so I wouldn’t have to listen to ignorant people say I was emotional because I was a Hispanic woman,” she said, rolling her eyes. “After my mom died, the emotions were too much—too big for me to control, and I needed a release. So, I used sex as a way to…not act out…but let go. I abandoned myself to it, exploring and experimenting, giving over to every emotion.”