Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 99313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
I rip my gaze from hers and stare into the darkness. This place has always been a balm for me. I’ve always been able to pull myself back together again, but it’s not happening this time.
I’m a mess.
“You are nothing like your father,” she growls.
But that’s the thing, how different can we be if I was so quick to violence? If I resorted to using my fists without giving it a second thought?
“We’re more alike than I want to believe.” That thought sickens me.
“No, you’re not!” she snarls. “You are nothing like him! Why can’t you see that?”
This conversation isn’t going anywhere. Daisy doesn’t get it. And she never will. I’ve done everything in my power to be the exact opposite of my father and to realize with one fucking mistake that I’m not, is a real kick in the ass.
The air gets sucked from my lungs and suddenly, I can’t breathe. The one girl I want more than anything, the one who has never been far from my thoughts, is the one person I can’t have. All my emotions hurtle to the surface with her and there is no holding back. Nothing is restrained. Only now do I realize how dangerous that kind of intensity can be.
My relationship with Daisy is only just beginning and look at me.
Look at what I’m capable of.
At what I’ve become.
“I can’t do this.” The words bleed from my lips before I can staunch the flow. Even though they nearly kill me, there’s relief to be found in them. And that’s what I latch onto. “I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widen, and she whispers, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” I rasp. “I can’t do this.”
Daisy’s mouth falls open. “Carter, please. Just think about it—”
“No,” I bite out as I shake my head. “This is the way it has to be. I’m sorry.”
She sucks in a breath. For a moment, it seems like she’ll argue. My body tenses as I wait for the onslaught.
Instead, she snaps her mouth closed and jerks her head into a tight nod. “If that’s what you want.”
What I want?
No. This isn’t what I want at all, but it’s what I need. And I’m smart enough to realize the difference.
“It is.”
39
DAISY
It’s been a week since the party. I’d hoped that after a few days, Carter would calm down and realize that he isn’t to blame for losing his cool. Then we could sit down and hash out the situation. But neither of those things have happened.
I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Carter has disappeared from my life. He no longer sleeps at the apartment. When I asked Noah, he informed me that Carter has been crashing at one of the houses that a bunch of football players rent off campus.
It’s difficult to wrap my head around everything that has transpired. It’s like I blinked, and our relationship fell apart. Not only does Carter not live here anymore, but he’s avoiding all interaction with me. He only stops by when I’m not home.
I’ve peeked in his room and his books are no longer neatly stacked on his desk. His duffle bag has disappeared from the corner. His toothbrush and other personal items have been removed from the bathroom counter.
Exasperated by the situation, I broke down and texted, but he has yet to respond.
I’ve officially been ghosted. He’s still around, but no longer a part of my life.
I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t know what to do.
Well, that’s not altogether true.
If Carter wants me to let him go, what other choice do I have?
I’m still leaning against the doorframe of Carter’s room when I hear a key in the lock. My heart leaps in hopes that it’s him. That he’s taken enough time to sort everything out in his head.
But it’s not.
Noah walks into the apartment and stops short when he sees me hovering by Carter’s door. Heat floods my cheeks as we hold each other’s gazes. I’m embarrassed to be caught looking so pathetic. This guy has clearly dumped me, and I still want him back.
Normally, when my relationships fizzle, it’s the other way around and I’m more than ready to move on. Guess there’s a first time for everything. Maybe that’s why this stings so much. Although somehow, I don’t think that’s the reason.
Noah clears his throat and throws his backpack onto the small table. “You doing okay?”
I nod.
The way his brows draw together tells me he doesn’t believe me.
“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” he mutters.
A pair of sad sacks is what he means. I’m no longer with Carter and Noah has broken up with Ashley. I always imagined relishing the moment Noah and Ashley called it quits, but I can’t bring myself to feel any kind of joy.
I snort and push away from Carter’s doorjamb. At some point, I’m going to have to come to terms with the fact that our relationship is over and there’s nothing I can do about it but move on. Although that’s easier said than done.