Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 128211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
But I snuffed out that voice with a cold splash of reality.
I’d lost the respect of my crew. I’d lost their friendship. My third stew couldn’t even look at me, and I couldn’t blame her. I’d hurt her. Betrayed her. Betrayed them all for something selfish and stupid.
You don’t believe that. What you have with Finn isn’t stupid.
Again, I ignored that voice.
It was easier to latch onto the panic slowly taking me under. And when I remembered everything that had just happened was on camera, I started sinking faster.
A knock came at the door, followed by a muffled voice. “Ember? We’d love to get a quick interview while emotions are still fresh.”
I raked my hands through my hair, face-planting into my pillow and screaming into it.
This cannot be happening.
But it was.
And there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
Another knock. Another producer. “We’re rolling, Ember. Just one minute. That’s all we need. We have your mic here, if you don’t mind putting this back on for us.”
I curled tighter, shaking my head like I could will it all away. My skin was on fire. My mind was running so fast I couldn’t hold onto a single thought. There was a commotion of noise and voices outside my door, and then another knock, this one louder.
“Em, it’s me.”
Finn.
My pulse answered his like it always had.
I wanted to run to him and fling myself into his arms as much as I wanted to throw him overboard. My skin was still warm from his, my soul still bound to him.
“Let me in, Firefly.”
I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. I couldn’t let him in — not right now, not when I only had minutes to get myself together enough to face our captain with him.
Captain Gary.
My heart flipped, bile rising in my throat as I imagined what he’d say. What he’d do. Would he fire me? Strip me of the role I’d worked years to earn? Blacklist me in the industry?
Would he even have to?
Once people saw the show, they’d be able to make up their own mind. No glowing letter of recommendation could overshadow what I’d just let the whole world bear witness to.
And then the worst thought of all slammed into me like an anvil falling from a skyscraper.
My father.
He was going to see this.
He was going to see all of it.
Every shameful second. The crew piling into the cabin. Me in bed with a man everyone thinks is still dating my roommate. Me choosing a thoughtless act of desire with Finn over everything I’d built. The fallout. The chaos. The scandal.
He wouldn’t need to say a single word for me to know how he felt.
I could already hear his voice in my head.
I had one shot to prove to him that what I did mattered, that my career was valuable, that I was worth something.
Instead, I’d only proved to be the disappointment he’d bet on.
Tears burst from me like a dam breaking. I sobbed into my pillow, choking on the weight of it all — the failure, the humiliation, the sheer horror of being exposed in front of the entire world.
I’d once believed surviving the storm of my breakup with Finn would be the toughest thing I’d ever face, that if I could survive that, I could survive anything.
But there was no surviving this.
POST-PRODUCTION CONFESSIONAL
CLOSE QUARTERS
SEASON 4
LEAH BROOKS: THIRD STEWARDESS
PRODUCER
Looking back now, did you know, walking into charter eight, that it was going to be a disaster?
LEAH
I didn’t know for sure, but I felt it. We all did. It was like the wind picking up or the smell of rain before a storm moves in. After what happened, everyone was just… raw. Wound up. Looking for fights rather than solutions.
PRODUCER
Do you blame Finn and Ember for the way the season ended?
LEAH
They weren’t the only guilty ones.
Finn was at my side as I rapped my knuckles on the door frame leading to the bridge. He’d been there as soon as I opened my cabin door, but he hadn’t pushed me to talk, hadn’t invaded my space. He’d simply handed me my mic to strap back on, his presence letting me know without words that he was there.
He knew what I needed right now, and I’d never been more thankful for that.
My ears were still ringing, heart still pounding like a jackhammer in my throat. The whole morning felt like a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from, and yet it was all right on the heels of a dream I wished I could relive again and again.
It didn’t make sense to me, how so many emotions could exist inside me at one time. How could I feel devastated for hurting our crew, guilty for betraying Eli and Leah and Gisella, but also elated from my reunion with Finn? My soul was on fire, body begging for me to seek comfort in his arms, and yet I felt sick at the thought of giving in to those desires.