Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 97053 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97053 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
So I don’t understand why she can’t have more empathy for me wanting to be with Iris.
“I didn’t want you to live your life in constant fear of being found out and being ridiculed.”
She’s talking about herself. That’s how she’s spent her life and pity settles in my stomach. The thought of my mother living her entire life worried that she could be found out that she wasn’t who she said she was fills me with sadness and pity. What a horrible life she must have had full of fear and pressure and expectations. It’s one I don’t want for myself.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say. “Because I don’t want to live my life in those circles anymore. I don’t want to spend my life going to charity functions just to be seen. Or sitting on boards that don’t really do anything. I want to live my life differently.”
Iris reaches over and squeezes my hand.
My mother clears her throat and pulls back her shoulders, regaining some of her composure. “I don’t know what that means.”
I sigh. “No, I don’t quite know what that means either. But I’m going to figure out how I want to live my life and do it exactly that way.”
My mother’s throat bobs as she swallows. “I would just ask that you try and see things from my perspective. I was trying to protect you, protect the name that your father and I spent our lives trying not to sully, so you wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of having a mother who wasn’t… wasn’t anyone.”
Iris reaches for my mother’s hand. “You’re not no one. You never were. You’re Jack’s mom, and Jack turned out pretty great, so from where I sit, that’s a legacy. And from what you told me, you were so completely and desperately in love with Jack’s father that you would have done anything for him. That’s not no one. That’s someone who loves with their whole heart. Don’t let yourself think you’re no one.”
I stare at Iris. How can she find so much compassion for my mother when she hasn’t been treated well by her at all? But she does. Because she’s kind and compassionate and understands the sacrifices we all make for our family.
“You are very kind, Iris,” my mother says. “It’s more than I deserve.” She turns her attention to me. “When you disappeared after our argument… I understood for the first time that your happiness means more to me than the Alden name. More than the family legacy. All I want is for you to have a life you deserve and enjoy.”
It hits me right then that I don’t think my mother has ever talked about my happiness.
“I don’t want to lose you, Jack,” she says.
“Thank you, Mother. I don’t want to lose you either. But things have to change.”
She nods. “You get to decide, not the rules now. Not just live by them like I did. Your father and I weren’t as brave as you. This is your life. Your legacy. I understand that now. And I’ll do what I can to help you. Help you both. New York society is…” She sighs. “It’s tough.”
“I can do anything with Jack by my side,” Iris says.
My mother smiles and it feels warm and more genuine than I can ever remember one of her smiles ever being. It feels like the beginning of something new. Like the shoots of a new relationship with my mother might be poking through the cold November dirt. We both need to nurture it going forward to make sure it doesn’t wither and die.
I glance at Iris. The woman who changed the entire trajectory of my life. Even my mother can see how important she is to me. Iris’s the woman I love. My future wife and the woman I’ll be with forever. She smiles at me and it’s like sunshine and I find myself softening under her gaze. I can only think the best of the world and everyone in it when she’s next to me.
It’s possible that my mother has been trying to protect me from the sacrifices she felt my father made. Time will tell whether she means what she says about the Alden name being my legacy now. But like she said, I get to decide my future. My future with Iris.
EPILOGUE
Iris
Jack has barely taken his eyes off me since we said goodbye to his mother as she headed off to the Snowdrop Inn. It’s like he thinks I’m going to bolt or something. But I’m not going anywhere.
We pull up in front of his lodge and I put the car into park. I insisted on driving after the revelations from his mother.
“We need to talk,” I say. We need to reestablish trust between us, but I know I’ll do anything Jack wants me to do.