Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 97053 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97053 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 485(@200wpm)___ 388(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
She narrows her eyes. “I drove.”
I can’t remember much before the bits where we were naked. If she said she drove, then she drove. “Can I see you tonight?”
A smile tugs on the corner of her lips and I lean forward and press a kiss to her mouth.
“I have plans tonight.”
“To be in bed with me?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “Spending time with you is far too dangerous. Before you know it, you’ll be back in New York and you’ll leave me here in Star Falls with nothing but memories and a broken heart. Last night was… we both needed it. And now we don’t have to wonder what it might be like between us. Hopefully it gives us the closure we both need.”
My insides swoop and my muscles tense. I sit up, mirroring her position. What is she talking about?
Closure?
That was the start of something, not the end of anything.
“That’s what last night was about for you? Closure?”
She pulls in a breath, like she’s trying to find the answer. “I can’t deny there’s something between us, Jack—”
“Good,” I say. “Because if you did, you’d be lying to yourself.”
Her eyes lower to her fingers, linked together in front of her. “We needed to follow it through. Get it out of our system or something.”
“How’s that working for you?” I ask. “Am I out of your system?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know.” She pauses. “But honestly, I don’t want to get hurt. Life… life in Star Falls is easy. Kinda. There are no big ups and downs. Yeah, the margins at the farm are constantly under pressure and I’m not a member of the Colorado Club, but life is… okay. I’m not sure…” Her gaze flickers to me and then back to her hands. “I’m not sure I would be able to take it if…”
My heart aches at Iris even imagining life becoming difficult for her. I slide my hand around her waist. She flinches and then sinks into my touch.
“I can’t get attached—any more attached, Jack.”
I lean us back so I’m resting against the headboard and she’s leaning against my chest.
“When I walked away from dance, I locked it away in a box. I couldn’t even think about it for a long time. It was the only way I could survive. And I did survive. And every year, I let it out, but it goes back in the box as soon as I take off back to Star Falls.
“With you… I don’t think I could ever… I’d have to live with the loss. I don’t think I’m strong enough.”
How can I argue against her logic?
“But—”
“Don’t say what if it works out. Because you know it’s impossible. I know you know that.”
“It’s not impossible.”
“Liar,” she says.
My chest rises as I pull in a breath. She’s convinced. How could I ever change her mind?
“Our worlds are so different,” she says. “Like just our day-to-day is so incredibly incompatible. Like tonight, what did you have in mind? Dinner at one of the fancy restaurants at this private resort that your friend owns?” She laughs, like the idea is just too wild to fathom. “A fancy date night for me is Pizza Meet Ya.” She shrugs. “To be fair, it’s great pizza. But there’s nothing fancy about it.”
“Fisher and—”
“Fisher isn’t an Alden,” she cuts me off.
She’s right. He’s not. “But he had a very different life to Juniper. Juniper is a mother. Unless you’ve forgotten to tell me, there aren’t children in the mix. Or an ex who’s hanging around.”
“Right,” she says. “But I’ve made commitments to my family in Star Falls and you’ve made commitments to your family in New York. They’re not the same as the obstacles that Fisher and Juniper had. Theirs are surmountable.”
“Let me take you to dinner,” I say. “Tonight. Pizza Meet Ya.”
“Haven’t you heard anything I’ve just been saying?” she asks. “If I get in any deeper with you, I won’t survive you leaving.”
I close my eyes at her confession. It seems so unfair. We know what we have is rare and precious, but the stakes are too high to see this out, to see where this goes.
“Then marry me,” I say. I check my watch. “It’s been at least forty-five minutes since either of us orgasmed. I can ask you for real.” A grin unfurls on my face. I’m joking, but if she said yes, I’d buy her the biggest diamond ring.
She sits up, putting distance between us, and she rolls her eyes. “No, I’m not going to marry you, Jack Alden.”
“Then share a pizza with me.”
“I don’t share my pizza,” she replies. “Not even with you. But seriously, I need to leave.”
We both get out of bed and pull on our clothes from the night before. I don’t want to try to persuade her to stay. She’ll accuse me of not appreciating that she has a job to do, a life that doesn’t revolve around me. And I get it. I really do. If she says she needs to leave, then she needs to leave.