Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
I can’t be a volunteer. I can’t risk keeping Byron and me on simmer too long, and the pot burning. Better to walk away now, when I still have so much hope about what my future might hold.
Byron and I have hit our expiration date.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Byron
I’ve tried to stay focused on work today, but it’s been tough. Rosey not volunteering to delay her move into staff housing was a surprise. It threw me off-balance a little, so I pushed it to the back of my mind to focus on the various problems that have been thrown at me all day. Now, as I drive back to the cabin, Rosey’s decision comes flooding back.
Maybe I’m an arrogant asshole, but I thought she’d be the first person to volunteer.
I’ve always known things would shift between us when she moved up to the Club. It was bound to happen. I just didn’t expect her to be so eager to make that shift.
I didn’t come to Colorado expecting to find the kind of connection Rosey and I share. I’ve tried to resist it, but I’ve got both feet in now. I thought she felt the same way.
I pull up in front of the cabins and Rosey’s sitting on the porch wrapped in a blanket. It’s so cold. Why would she be out here on her own?
I get out of the truck and our gazes lock. I wander over and she stands. I get to the top of the stairs and she opens her arms, stretching the blanket wide, and envelops me in a hug that shelters both of us in its warmth.
She rests her head on my chest, and I lay my cheek against the top of her head.
I sigh. I’m really going to miss this. I’m going to miss the way she smells like spring in the middle of winter. How she feels warm on the coldest of nights. She’s so calm and considered in all the madness of the Colorado Club.
I lift my head. “I thought…”
She tips her head back to look at me. “I know. I just don’t want to tempt fate. You know?”
I wince. No. I don’t know.
“This is so good,” she says.
“Agreed.” So why change it?
“But it can’t go on forever, right?”
I pull in a breath. I wasn’t suggesting forever. But a few more days would have been good. Maybe from where she’s sitting, that would just be delaying the inevitable.
“The guys said to tell you goodbye,” I say.
She grins up at me. “They really love you. I can’t believe they came out here and stayed in RVs.”
They really do love me, and the feeling’s mutual. I’m a lucky guy. I need to focus on all the incredible things in my life, rather than why Rosey doesn’t want a few more days of what we have together.
“So Saturday morning, I’m losing a neighbor,” I say.
“I’m really going to miss this,” she says.
I nod, slowly. So will I. I don’t know if I’ve ever walked away from a relationship and regretted it. I don’t know if I’ve ever thought about an ex once they fit into that box. Maybe because what Rosey and I have doesn’t feel done? I get the feeling Rosey is all I’m going to think of after Saturday.
“Wanna go to Grizzly’s and eat wings?” I ask her.
“No,” she says resolutely. “I want to stay here and drink hot chocolate.” There’s something about the tone in her voice I can’t place. Maybe it’s me, but she seems a little sad. “I’m going to miss our nights drinking hot chocolate on the porch.” Yes, there’s definitely a note of sadness in her voice.
I don’t get it. If she’s going to miss this, why didn’t she volunteer?
We go into her cabin, make me a drink and refresh hers, then go sit on the porch swing.
“I heard from my sister today. She graduated high school nearly a year ago. She’s desperate to go to college.”
“That’s great,” I say.
“Yeah,” she replies, but her yes says more than yes.
“Yeah?” I ask. I want to hear what she’s thinking.
“My mom doesn’t want her to go. She wants her to get a job so she can contribute to family expenses.”
“You feel guilty because if your mom had your salary from the job at Frank’s garage, your sister would be able to go to college?” I ask, trying to figure out why Rosey seems a little reserved tonight.
“No, I doubt she’d let Marion go either way. But if I were there… maybe she’d be focused on me and Frank, and what she could get from him. Her attention wouldn’t be on Marion.”
I don’t know what to say to that. It’s fucked up that she feels the need to shield her sisters from her mom. That she feels guilty for not taking the shots so they can escape.