Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 62569 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 209(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62569 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 313(@200wpm)___ 250(@250wpm)___ 209(@300wpm)
I stared down at the yogurt, tears in my eyes, and chucked it at his head.
It hit him and dropped to the floor.
Chest heaving, I reached for the protein bar and held it high.
Ace pulled out his stupid AirPods. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Me?” I yelled. “ME?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Yes. You, the only other person in this room!”
“You’re not even real! You’re just going through the motions!”
Ace looked around the room. “I’m not real? Like I’m not human? Have you lost your mind? I’m being dead serious, is there something wrong?”
“Yeah!” I waved the protein bar. “I’m like one of those girls who snapped, where she just loses it and buries her husband in the backyard!”
“Technically, you’d have to bury me in your dad’s yard on account of ours couldn’t handle the amount of cement you’d need to seal the grave,” he pointed out. Annoyingly.
“I know that!” I didn’t. “And what if I want to use pigs?”
“We have those now.” He nodded. “But the guys would know.”
“They’d be on my side!” I screamed. “Because you’re the crazy one!”
“Me?” He burst out laughing. “I’ve done everything right! I’m more real than you are living in your little fantasy world of romantic comedies and refusing to deal with Louis’ death by just pretending it never fucking happened!”
“Take it back!” I threw the protein bar.
“No,” he spat. “Because you’re the delusional one. I’m trying the fucking best I can, Raven! What more do you want from me!”
“Everything!”
“You have it!” He reached for the last protein bar then tossed it on the floor. “I’m here, constantly. I’m here. I’m the one that’s here!”
“You’re not even a real husband!”
“It sure as hell feels like it when I’m doing your laundry, Raven!” He shoved all the food off the table. “And you know I’m going to clean that shit up later, and then I’m going to make sure you’re safe, make sure the baby is safe, I’m going to take care of everything. What more could you possibly want from me?” His chest was heaving, his eyes searching for me to say something that would make this better.
Instead, I said the worst thing I could have possibly said. “Louis. I want Louis.”
He stumbled back like I’d shot him.
His phone dropped to the ground.
And Ace De Lange just stared, the protective shield shattered in front of my eyes as he opened his mouth and closed it.
I’d seen men cry—my family was very open to expressing themselves.
But I’d never seen someone actually break. I never thought I would be the one to break them.
In one second, I wasn’t just a nickname, I was his nightmare.
A tear slid down Ace’s cheek before he could stop it. He didn’t say anything. He just left.
The door shut quietly behind him.
When I looked down, his phone was still on, but the podcast wasn’t True Crime—it was an audio book on how to be a good father.
23
RAVEN
The one where words mean nothing and actions are long gone…
8 Months Later
Iwas dying.
I always imagined it differently, that I would be taken too soon from this world by way of violence—not by way of life and beauty.
She hadn’t cried yet, why wasn’t she crying? “Ace?”
“One more push,” he whispered against my sweaty neck. I was in too much pain and yet not even a part of my own body as I weakly nodded my head. “She wants to meet you, desperately.”
I wronged him.
In so many ways.
Maybe this would be the one right thing I did, the last gift.
“She’s losing too much blood.” It was Sergio’s voice I think. After two days of labor they’d finally let him in, and he was pissed they’d let it go on this long.
“Options?” someone said.
“Emergency C-section,” someone else said.
Ace never left my side.
Everything happened too fast; I wasn’t in my body or was I? Suddenly a cry erupted through the room. It was loud, just like me.
“Good job, Raven. Good job.” Ace was either sweating as much as I was or he was crying, his face was wet against my cheek. “She’s perfect.”
“I’m sorry.” I choked out a cry. “I’m sorry for everything I know I keep saying.” My vision blurred. “You know I-l—”
“Do something!” Ace yelled. Was that Ace?
Alarms went off or was it a clock beeping?
The pain was gone.
I was dying, wasn’t I?
The pain left.
My only regrets were not seeing my little girl grow up—and not telling Ace De Lange I’d bought him waffle mix.
24
ACE
The one where regrets are like wildflowers unable to stop appearing over and over again, showing off their resilience in never going away.
Present Day - Two Months Post Delivery
“So how many moms hit on you at the park when you go for walks?” In Dante’s kitchen, Ivan was bouncing his infant son Zach on his lap while I was attempting to feed Lily some cereal. His and Bella’s first child, a daughter named Jessica, Jessi for short, was napping upstairs under Dante’s watchful eye.