Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 102167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 341(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102167 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 341(@300wpm)
“How can you say that?” he questions. “How do you even know if you don’t try?”
“Justin, I just know, okay?” I retort. “I just know.” I know how it feels when it’s right.
“I can’t believe this,” Justin mutters, running a hand through his hair. “I thought…I really thought this was going somewhere.”
I shake my head, staring down at my hands as I knot my fingers together. “The truth is, Justin…no relationship with any man, for me, has ever been going anywhere.”
Being stranded on an island with Henry is just what made me realize why…
His brow draws together as he tries to make sense of it all—what I’m saying, how he’s feeling, maybe even how everything he thought we had was a lie. “Are you saying…”
I nod.
“Are you saying you’re a lesbian?”
“Ye—wait. What?”
“You said it’s never been going anywhere with any man.”
I’m not proud of it, but I almost go with it, just to spare his feelings. In the end, though, I think it really is time that I grow up enough to hold myself responsible for my choices, good or bad.
“No. I…I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. I’m just not the right fit for you, Justin. I…have a lot of personal growth to do, some of which started in the last thirteen days, and it’s taught me a few things I can’t ignore. I would love to stay friends, if you think that’s something you’d be okay with, but romantically, this is the end of the line.”
He sighs, settling his hands on his hips and looking thoughtfully away before turning back to me. “I guess I should have seen this coming… I was just hoping it wasn’t.”
I nod and shrug. Not to make light of the situation but to put on the punctuation all the same. There isn’t anything that could happen in this room to change my mind because of everything that happened somewhere else. “I’m sorry.” Because truthfully, I am sorry. Sure, I love attention and adoration, but I don’t love the idea that this guy was pining for me—fearing that I was dead—while I was stranded on an island. That doesn’t make me feel good. And that says a lot because, usually, just about every type of attention makes Avery Banks feel good.
“It’s okay. I’ll…I’ll just have to get back to you on the being-friends thing. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
“Of course. I understand.”
“Well…” He shrugs. “Goodbye, I guess.”
“Goodbye, Justin.”
Ironically, now that I’ve cut him loose, I’m having a lot less trouble remembering his name.
He doesn’t say anything after that, instead searching my eyes for one long moment. Eventually, he leans forward to press a kiss to my cheek and walks out of my room, and I take the first full breath I’ve had since the helicopter landed at the Coast Guard station.
The door clicks shut behind him, and just like that, all my guilt over Henry is gone.
In its place, an intense yearning I can’t quite shake. The room feels bigger now, colder. I sit back on the bed, staring at the door like I’m expecting someone to walk through it.
But no one does.
My thoughts scour memories of Henry, pausing on his crooked smile and the way his eyes softened when he looked at me on the island. To the way he made me feel like I wasn’t just beautiful, but…enough.
I close my eyes, leaning back against the pillows. Life on the island was hard, but it was simple. With Henry, everything felt clear. Here, in this hospital room, surrounded by the mess of reality, I’m not sure of anything anymore.
Except for one thing: I miss him. And it doesn’t feel like there’s a damn thing I can do about it.
Henry
The hospital room is quiet in comparison to the Coast Guard station, but it feels anything but peaceful. It’s sterile and empty, the faint beeping of machines the only sound, and in some weird way, it feels as if I’ve been dropped off on a new island to start all over again.
Maverick and Ronnie left about an hour ago after making their usual jokes to lighten the mood, but now it’s just me and Ashley and my tortured thoughts.
She’s sitting in the chair by the bed, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of the sheet draped over me like she’s trying to smooth out wrinkles that aren’t even there. I should say something, but I don’t know what, and even when I try, nothing comes out. I’ve been quiet since they brought me here, my mind running circles around everything and nothing.
Mostly, though, around Avery.
I shouldn’t be thinking about her. Not right now. Not with Ashley sitting a foot away, her eyes red from crying. But I can’t help it. Thirteen days on that island… It was like nothing else existed. Just us. And now, sitting here under the harsh fluorescent lights, it feels like a dream I’ve woken up from too soon.