Total pages in book: 260
Estimated words: 245483 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1227(@200wpm)___ 982(@250wpm)___ 818(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 245483 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1227(@200wpm)___ 982(@250wpm)___ 818(@300wpm)
“Hey, Nello,” I say before he can exit the room completely.
“What’s that, Cill?”
“If anybody asks, we were here a little earlier. In fact, we've been back here all day.”
He nods shortly, his gaze staying on mine. “You got it.”
The moment the door closes, giving us privacy once again, Reed speaks, “Well, you didn’t kill me. So I take it, what I said about what happened and about your uncle–”
Readjusting in my seat, I cut him off. “We’ll talk about it later,” I tell him and then glance between the two of them. “I want to,” I start but shut my mouth as the waiter enters the room.
He brings chocolate cake packaged in a little black box tied with a red ribbon, halting the conversation.
I’m short with him, but my voice is as even as it can be. “Just the bill and a few more minutes, please.”
“I want to talk about you two,” I tell them both the moment the stiff silence greets us once again. “What the hell happened to you?” My gaze is solely on Kat.
She swallows thickly and pulls her hands into her lap. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not yourself.” I know it’s hypocritical coming from me, but it’s true. “You’re scared and unsure and you,” I say and bring my attention to Reed, motioning toward him, “you fucked Reed … was that before or after you ended it with me?” I didn’t mean to say that last part. Fuck, I don’t want to know. “I never thought you’d do that. What happened to my hellcat?”
“I—” Kat looks down at her chocolate cake, then back up at me. “I lost everything. I lost you … and then … I felt like I didn’t deserve you.”
Tears shine in her eyes and her face flushes. It kills me to see her this way. She isn’t like she used to be. This strong woman who could handle anything. Hell, maybe it’s me who remembers her differently … or maybe it’s just because we were kids who didn’t know shit.
I grab her hand again. “I love you, Kat.”
Her eyes meet mine, disbelieving and filled with tears. “Cill …”
“I love the woman you were,” I tell her and make sure she’s staring back at me when I continue, “and the woman you are now. Let me see you smile again. I want to make you smile again.”
“I don’t know if I can do that right now,” she murmurs.
I let my mind unravel, every thought slipping out, “You weren’t scared of anybody. You didn’t cry yourself to sleep at night. You didn’t refuse to smile. And you didn’t fucking cheat on me.”
Her eyes come to mine, glossy with tears. She doesn’t deny it. That it happened before she ended it with me. Fuck. Dread pricks across my skin.
“Why?” I’m barely paying attention to Reed anymore. He hasn’t said a word and I can’t look away from Kat. “Why did you do it?” My throat’s tight and dry.
She glances at the door. “We shouldn’t have this conversation here. If you want to talk, we should go home.”
“I’m not going home until you tell me why you thought it was better to cheat on me than wait just one more year.” My pulse races. “You stayed through the hardest shit. Even when my father died …” I’m losing my shit, and I know it. Emotions surge through me and make me want to punch something, or fuck something. It blew a hole through my chest to hear about her and Reed. I’m not going to spend another second sitting nicely at the dinner table while she keeps this secret from me. Hiding it does even more damage.
“I just don’t think—”
“Why, Kat? Why did you do it? I was in prison, I lost my father.” I can’t help that my voice raises as I pound a fist to my chest. “I deserve an explanation.”
Kat snaps, the fire coming back into her eyes. She digs her fingernails into the tablecloth. “You were angry,” she says, her voice shaking with emotion. “Everyone hated me, and I lost them. I lost everyone.”
“There’s no way they hated you,” I tell her, but I’m not sure. I don’t know. I wasn’t there, because I was in prison. I should have been by her side.
“Your father was the only one that still accepted me at Cavanaugh. He was there when my father left.” Her voice tightens and she takes in a heavy breath before continuing. “And you were so angry and hateful and turning into someone I didn’t recognize.” Her voice drops. My hellcat is beautiful when she’s pissed like this and all her angry energy is focused on me. Tears glisten on her cheeks but they’re not a sign of weakness. It’s like she’s crying broken glass and doesn’t care. “And I just wanted to be held for a moment. I wanted someone to say I wasn’t crazy and that it was going to be okay, and you—you—”