Total pages in book: 260
Estimated words: 245483 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1227(@200wpm)___ 982(@250wpm)___ 818(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 245483 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1227(@200wpm)___ 982(@250wpm)___ 818(@300wpm)
I couldn’t be more grateful. I need him to be steady for me.
“You okay?”
“No,” I admit. The back of my throat is tight. I’m not on the verge of breaking down, but I’m angry. “There’s so much that’s just fucking wrong.” The bitterness lingers after the words are spoken. A part of me expects him to deny the reality, like my father used to do, but he doesn’t and that’s all the more shocking.
“I know,” he answers in a whisper. He adds, “I’m going to make it all right. I promise,” and I wish he wouldn’t.
How could he promise such a thing? It’s all fucked. I catch my bottom lip between my teeth before it trembles and Cill looks me in the eye, the comfort changing to something else. Something darker and something more sinful.
“You’re going to need a safe word, Kat.”
My head tilts immediately to the floor, thinking of the phrase my father gave me and hating it, hating him. The rage is instantly subdued as Cill grabs my chin between his thumb and forefinger, bringing my attention back to him as he tells me, “So when I whip your ass for taking my gun, I’ll know if I’m going too hard on you.”
“Cillian,” I murmur, my eyes widening with shock but my body heating with anticipation.
“Word, my little hellcat,” he commands, his voice still soothing even as the threat of punishment looms.
“Mulberry,” I speak without thinking. Mulberry is the street where an old pizzeria used to sit on the corner. Cillian first “punished” me behind that pizzeria.
It wasn’t much of a punishment if you ask me, getting fucked raw while he played with my ass. A tingle heats my skin at the memory.
He smirks at the word, maybe knowing exactly why I picked it, but it falls as quickly as it came to grace his lips. “You aren’t going to do that again, do you understand?”
“Yes.” Although the answer is instant, my internal agreement is not. For him, I’d do it all again. If I can protect him in any way, I will.
There’s no way I could stand by and watch like I did before. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.
“I mean it, Kat,” he murmurs and I wonder if he knows what I’m thinking. “If they took you away, I … I don’t know what I would do.” His voice is tight with emotion.
Cill holds me tighter and kisses my cheek, then my lips. It’s far softer than he’s been with me since he’s come home.
As he pulls me in closer, my front to his, I can feel how hard he is. It ignites every nerve ending instantly.
“Being apart from you has been hell,” he murmurs against my lips before kissing me again. My hands slip up his shirt to his bare shoulders, eager to touch him.
He lets his hands roam over my body, and when I don’t pull away, he starts pulling at my clothes. One by one he strips them off until I’m naked. The chill of the air dancing along my skin as if it’s part of the foreplay.
“Stay facing the counter,” he says, his hands reaching down to unbuckle his belt.
I obey, the warmth between my thighs clenching with a new heat and desire.
In the reflection of the kitchen window, which thankfully faces an empty field that leads to woods so it’s all shades of dark moss and sage, I watch as he pulls his shirt over his head, his muscles rippling. Then he steps closer to me again and arranges my hands on the sides of the counter.
The leather of his belt sings as it’s pulled through the loops of his jeans. A shiver rolls down my shoulders and it’s immediately halted by Cill’s strong grip. His thumb travels in a soothing stroke up to the base of my neck and back down with each word.
“If I ever scare you, I want you to tell me.”
His somber tone is unexpected, given the predicament.
“I’m not scared of you, I’m scared of …” I start to say as his expression reaches mine in the reflection, “… losing you, but also everything that comes with being with you again.”
“But you are with me.”
“Yes,” I answer eagerly. It’s only then that I realize how deeply I mean it. Even if he doesn’t know what happened. Maybe I’ll never have to tell him. It doesn’t matter, does it? If I love him like this. If I’m willing to do whatever he wants?
“Good because I can’t lose you again,” he says and then his head falls to the crook of my neck. His grip on my shoulder loosens as he plants a kiss on the tender spot below my ear. My eyes close and my nipples pebble as he drags the edge of the leather down the curve of my side.