Total pages in book: 260
Estimated words: 245483 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1227(@200wpm)___ 982(@250wpm)___ 818(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 245483 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1227(@200wpm)___ 982(@250wpm)___ 818(@300wpm)
But I refuse to do it. I shut my eyes tight and hold her even tighter. I kiss her hair and a chill runs through my body, followed by a heat that boils my blood.
I may be aware that I am him and vice versa, but that doesn’t mean that both sides of me are willing to merge.
“Go to sleep,” I tell her in a deep voice. I look her in the eyes as I order her, “Go to your room, Robin.”
“Now!” I yell and watch as she obeys me, looking at me with equal amounts of fear and defiance. I lick my lips, not knowing what to do. Everything’s changed.
Chapter 28
John
“You’re not taking this well, are you?” I look up at the sound of Jay’s voice. He’s standing against the doorframe to the kitchen, staring at me. A phone is in his hand. His phone. I look down at my own hand, and it’s there. He tosses it back and forth in his hands, grinning at me and taunting me.
The decision is obvious. I need to call and turn myself in, but I can’t fucking bring myself to do it.
I grip the phone tightly before shoving it away from me, but when I look up it’s still there, still in his hands.
“You’re not real,” I tell him, refusing to rise and go touch him. Have I ever felt him? I can’t remember a time I have. I’m crazy. Legitimately insane.
My mind plays tricks on me. Jay vanishes and my head throbs, memories changing in my head, turning fuzzy then sharp with the truth. The memories coming back.
He smiles, a thin, wicked smile and says, “Of course I am. I’m you.”
“Make it stop,” I grit from between my teeth, holding my head and rocking back and forth. I stand and scream, “You’re not real!”
But who is it that wasn’t real? The life I lived was a lie. I struggle to breathe as my stomach churns and I realize the very man I pitied, the life I saw as pathetic and disturbing… it was me. It was mine all along.
“All those nights I couldn’t sleep,” I hear Jay say and I look up to search for him, but he’s nowhere to be found. I wince as I stumble and grip the wall, my head pounding harder and harder. “All the nights I had to go to her just to know it was real. That it really happened and it haunted her, too.”
“Get out of my head!” I scream and seethe with anger. My eyes open slowly and I lift my head, seeing him watching from the corner of the living room.
“And what’s worse? I knew I was fucked up in the head. So fucked up I couldn’t go to her. I wanted to. So, fucking badly, but because of you, I couldn’t!”
Toby barks and snarls, turning to face Jay, to face nothing. His hackles are raised as he exposes his teeth and a vicious growl echoes in the room.
“Jay?” I hear Robin call out from down the hallway, and closest to Jay. Closest to where Toby is facing. To what he sees as a threat.
Not my little bird. My body feels heavy and then light. He’s gone and then I’m gone, a blackness taking over. But I fight it. The fur bunches in my hand.
I hear him whine, feel the dog’s claws digging into the ground, and the sounds follow me, although I don’t feel present. I’m here but not in control of my actions. Present but weak. Muted by the control Jay has, but conscious of it.
The basement door slams shut, and Toby claws and barks at the door. Over and over, the poor thing trapped but our Robin protected.
Our Robin.
“It’s hell, isn’t it?” I hear Jay’s voice in my head as I come back to what’s real. As I struggle to catch my breath and feel the blood from Toby’s bite dripping down my arm.
When did he bite me?
“When you grabbed him from behind,” I hear Jay say from the other end of the hallway.
“Jay!” Robin calls out from behind the closed door to her room.
“It’s a bitch being there but not being present, isn’t it?” Jay sneers. “It’s fucking hell!” he screams and then stares at Robin’s bedroom door.
“I’m coming out,” Robin says from behind the door and both of us whip our heads to stare.
“Stay inside!” he screams before I can, but the words come from me, I can feel it. My body, but not my mind.
I don’t want her out here, I think but don’t say.
She’s not a part of this, I hear in my own head. I look up and he’s gone.
“You brought her here,” I say out loud with spite.
“I can help, we need to talk,” Robin says and her words are muted by the closed door.