Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
I don’t know when that day will be, but I’m getting too accustomed—and too addicted—to how much he notices everything about me.
And I mean everything.
Whether it’s my bad moods, the stress of thinking that Dad doesn’t care about me now that he has Kill, or when I need to purge.
In those moments, he ties me up and fucks me until I’m too wrung out to think.
I believe the reason I struggled so much in the beginning was because I thought I always needed to be in control, so actually submitting to someone else made me panic. I don’t like feeling vulnerable, but with him? I love it.
I crave how he dominates me, that I can give up control to him and he’ll set my world ablaze. He stops my brain from overthinking and makes me feel powerful in my submission.
In a way, I just like…letting go when I’m with him. I don’t have to worry about anything, because he’ll make everything right.
I’m accepting my sexuality better now and even get frustrated when we don’t have sex for…two days.
That’s my limit, don’t judge.
I think my dick is having its revenge for all the lackluster fucks I put him through.
Kayden fixes that by edging me until I beg. He loves keeping me on the brink, and I love when he forces me on my hands and knees, leaving me no way out.
It’s our dynamic. Not something average people would call healthy, but it works for us.
At least, in the bedroom. Or when it’s just the two of us.
On campus, though? He’s indifferent. I get that it’s a necessity, but he doesn’t have to be such an asshole about it. Like earlier.
Or like every single time we’ve worked on the trial case.
“Hey, handsome,” a low voice whispers in my ear.
I glance up to find Morgan scooting her chair closer, her overwhelming floral perfume practically punching me in the gut.
Class isn’t even over yet—I check my watch to confirm. I don’t want to see him, but I also don’t want to give the bastard a reason to act on his latest threat.
“You skipped?” I ask her.
“Overslept. Whoopsie.” She giggles softly. “Figured it was better to stay out than risk Professor Lockwood scolding me. You know how big he is on punctuality.”
“More like punctual pain in the ass,” I mutter under my breath.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“What are you doing here anyway?” she asks, sliding her hand into mine and leaning closer to whisper, “Not that I’m complaining. I really missed you and your big dick.”
“Don’t.” I pull my hand away from hers.
I could swear her touch used to do something to me once—don’t ask me what, but it was there. Now? Every touch disgusts me.
With one glaring exception.
“But why?” She pouts, her big purple lips looking cartoonishly exaggerated.
“Not interested, Morgan.”
“What if I bring a friend?”
I raise a brow. “Like who?”
“Who do you want?”
“Hmm. How about Zara?”
“Not her. She swings the other way.”
“Oh? Who told you that?”
“I’m not as gullible as I look. She’s dropped plenty of hints and even implied it once.”
“So you’re also aware she has a crush on you? And you still led her on?”
Her eyes widen, snapping to mine. “How do you— Doesn’t matter. I didn’t lead her on.”
I grab her arm, tightening my grip just enough to make her freeze.
“But you did. Because you’re a goddamn parasite. Zara is ten times smarter than you and way out of your league, really, but you like how she puts you on a pedestal. She covers for you, helps with your homework, and you repay her by throwing out mixed signals and innocent little kisses, keeping her hooked on you.” My voice drops low as I shake her. “Either make it clear you’re using her so she can move the fuck on, or I will. And trust me, Morgan, it won’t be pretty if I do it.”
I release her, ignoring the tears welling in her eyes, and stand up.
Fuck this.
Why am I so worked up on Zara’s behalf? I have no clue.
Maybe because I hate the manipulations and the fucking lies.
Figures.
25
GARETH
Istand outside Kayden’s office, the buzz of students and distant chatter from down the hall a dull hum beneath the pounding in my own head. That white silent room I love so much is smudged with swishes of gray, and I want them to come off.
My fingers twitch at my side, reluctant to knock. I can’t shake the thought that I’m about to walk into something I won’t be able to control.
That’s what I’ve always liked and disliked about Kayden. The idea that he can strip my control and give me something is what I like.
But now, it’s going to the side I dislike—where in this case, he might use the power he has over me to hurt me.
The hallway is full of movement, but it feels like I’m the only one here, stuck in this moment, torn between turning away or stepping forward into whatever mess this will become.