Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
My hands tremble slightly, but I force them still as I bring the cigarette to my lips. The acrid taste of tobacco fills my lungs, a sharp contrast to the icy burn.
I quit smoking a long time ago, when I thought I had everything I ever wanted.
Until I didn’t.
Until the life I’d made for myself crumbled to fucking pieces.
I didn’t relapse then.
But I am now. After today.
After I was punched in the gut by the reality and the fucking reminder that I let myself get too close.
Too personal.
I’m not supposed to enjoy this.
Which is why I’m indulging in this punishment. My father’s favorite way to discipline me and my brother was throwing us in an ice bath—a room, actually—and not letting us leave until we were about to die of hypothermia. He had doctors on board to make sure we were pushed to our absolute physical limits.
So it’s two punishments. Letting the cold numb whatever the fuck I was on and recalling dear old Dad.
My numb fingers struggle to hold the cigarette steady, but I take a drag, let it coat my throat, then exhale slowly. The smoke curls in the air, thick and heavy, before dissipating in the chill.
I inhale the scent of lavender, close my eyes, and feel every icy sting. My body is just a vessel of discomfort, floating in frozen silence. I let the cold wash over me, let it burn, let it pull at the edges of my thoughts, numbing the desire to get consumed by anything irrelevant.
And he is irrelevant.
And yet the shadow that appears behind my lids has deep light-green eyes and messy blond hair. He’s wearing a little grin, taunting dimples creasing his cheeks, and I want to stab them.
To drink his fucking blood vampire style.
But I also want to grab that lean waist and sit him on my cock. I want to feel him squirm and blush, to feast on his red ears and pinch his nipples.
I want to kill him as I fuck him.
That’s how much I hate to want the motherfucker.
A damn kid. Not technically, but he’s still over eleven years younger than me.
And I’ve never even looked at anyone who isn’t my age.
Never.
I’ve also never looked at a man with the intention to own him, but here we are. There’s just something about my new toy that’s making me a horny fucking prick at all times. The more I see him, the more I crave to do unspeakable things to him.
I want to break him as I own him.
To claim him.
Swallow him whole.
My cock twitches. In the middle of the goddamn ice.
The whole point of this punishment is to put that part under lock and key.
And yet here we are.
Full of thoughts of him instead of lavender.
What’s even the point of that smell anymore?
I should get up and call my brother so he doesn’t come after me. Should review what Jethro emailed me about a potential breach. Should keep up with the teaching curriculum.
But I stay still.
It’s not enough.
There’s room to get more numb.
“Is this some sort of kink?”
For a second, I think I’m imagining his voice. I’m obsessing over him so much, it’s starting to mess with my brain.
But when I slowly open my eyes, he’s standing by the side of the tub, dressed in his stalking attire—black jeans that hang low on his hips and an oversized hoodie that betrays his muscular frame.
Blond strands peek from beneath the hoodie, and his eyes appear darker under the dim lights. With high cheekbones, a straight nose, defined lips, and a sharp jawline, he looks like a true Adonis. A god that’s right beneath my shoe.
And I don’t want to squash him.
Yet.
I lift the cigarette to my mouth as I watch him, letting my eyes linger on his lips. Lips I have the urge to kiss again.
Lips I shouldn’t have tasted in the first place, because one taste was enough to convert me.
My little monster is one of those obscure niche religions that revolve around pain.
And dominance.
And goddamn forbidden desires.
He clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable with my staring, and that makes me smile.
I truly find pleasure in seeing him squirm.
I release a cloud of smoke and wait until it ripples in the air. “Your unlawful conduct is spiraling out of control. Breaking and entering again?”
“I didn’t break anything. I just put in your code and got in. You should’ve changed it if you didn’t want me to have access. Besides, you’re the one who said I could drop by since I already know where your place is.”
He talks a lot when he’s out of his element. I suppose it’s because he’s not used to having someone mess with him. Though I don’t think he enjoys messing with others either since he disregards them too much to waste his time on them.