Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 128156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128156 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 427(@300wpm)
The second is the soft fleece pulled over me—a blanket, I think.
Slowly, cautiously, I blink my eyes open, expecting my head to rage back at me, but the ache there is a little subtler, and more from the headache left behind from something else.
The sun is still trying to rise, but it feels half-hearted, like even the damn sky knows better than to pretend today is a new beginning.
I blink once. Twice.
And then I see her.
Curled beside me on a pillow, her head turned toward me. There’s a sleeping bag under her, the blanket covering us both. Her hair is half in her face, lashes brushing her cheeks, mouth parted the slightest bit. Paige.
My Angel.
Sleeping beside me on the fucking ground.
Tightness pulls at my chest and I can’t help it; I reach for her, wrapping an arm around her waist and hauling her to me, holding her gently like she might vanish if I grip too hard.
A moment later, her fingers curl into my shirt and I know she’s awake, but neither of us says anything at first, and she lets me hold her, which is more than enough.
Eventually, I lean far enough back to see her face. I keep holding her hand, pressing her knuckles to my lips and letting them rest there, needing the contact more than the air.
She came for me. She’s here, and for her to be here that means she would have had to have left right after the game.
She knew I’d need her.
“Hi,” I whisper.
Her smile is soft, sleepy, and perfect. “Hi.” She reaches up, gently brushing the tips of her fingers along my temple, my jaw, my lips. “I missed you.”
She said I missed you. Not What are you doing out here or Are you okay or What happened. There’s no judgment, no expectation.
She’s literally lying on the ground wrapped up in all these things I didn’t bring out here, meaning she must have, and all she said was I missed you.
God, I fucking love her.
I swallow hard, blinking against the sting behind my eyes. “I missed you, too, baby. So much.”
“I made you some lemon-blueberry bars,” she whispers. “They’re here when you’re ready for one.”
She’s here when I’m ready.
I kiss her knuckles again, hanging on tight.
She is so patient, so good to me.
She deserves to know what’s going on.
“I’ve been keeping a secret,” I admit softly and those blue eyes soften on mine, because she already knew that. “Remember when I was worried about the whole cheating on the test thing and I told you that I stood to lose everything?” She nods. “It was true. I told you about my parents’ divorce, but there’s so much more to it that I haven’t shared. Football was supposed to be my saving grace, but…Paige, it’s over.”
“Chase, you did so well all season, it can’t—”
“Shh,” I run my fingers along her cheek, shaking my head. “That hit I took a few weeks ago at the game with the scouts… Something happened. I tried to ignore it, figured the things I was feeling after were just random. I was off my game, you know? Upset about how everything went down and…” I swallow, reaching up and smoothing away the frown lines on her forehead. “Coach noticed and he made me see a doctor when we got back yesterday.”
She sits up on one elbow, cupping my cheek, tears in her eyes. “Are you okay? I mean like, are you…”
“Yeah, baby.” I promise her, hating the fear that instantly slips into her eyes. “I’m okay, but football…” I shake my head.
It’s a gut punch to even try to say.
Last night was it for me.
My last game.
“They called it spinal stenosis. Something about a narrowing in my spinal canal that … basically I can’t take a hit anymore. Not like the kind I do anyway.”
“Chase,” she breathes, her lips wobbling.
“It’s career ending.” I hate how my voice shakes, and I hate the tears that spring to her eyes as she hauls me closer. “Everyone will find out soon enough and that will be it.”
“I’m so sorry,” she cries. “I’m so sorry.”
Moisture slips from my eyes and my nose burns but I hold her closer, tucking her into my chest.
We lie there for a long while and it’s exactly what I needed. An anchor to this world.
Strength, the steady in the storm. That’s what she offers, becoming everything I can’t seem to manage right now, and I think she knows that.
She wants to be that for me because she knows I need time to get back to that place.
But I’m going to find it—I have to.
I have to tell her about next semester, about all the other little things that she doesn’t know because I didn’t want to worry her even more, and I will but first I need to figure out what to do to stay with her.