Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 66134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
“Hey, are you still with me?” Raven snapped her fingers in front of me.
I blinked, realizing that I’d zoned out and she was still waiting for an answer. “Sorry,” I said, shaking my head.
“Yeah, not sure where you disappeared to, but welcome back,” she joked.
I exhaled a deep breath before speaking and giving Raven the truth. “You asked if something happened between Caleb and I, and honestly, the issue is me,” I admitted.
“You?” Her brows rose. “How so?”
“After my run-in with Alyssa at the gala, I can’t deny she planted doubts and insecurities about not being the kind of woman who blended into Caleb’s world, because of how I grew up, and feeling like an outsider looking in.” I stared at my newly painted pink toenails for a few beats, before shifting my gaze back to Raven’s. “I mean, those doubts were always there, but I’d be lying if I said she didn’t amplify them.”
Raven tipped her head. “And what kind of woman are you referring to, who would be a better match for Caleb?”
I shrugged. “Someone sophisticated and worldly, who knows all the etiquette and formalities of being with an obscenely wealthy man like Caleb.”
Raven rolled her eyes, that sarcasm transferring to her voice when she said, “Yeah, because Caleb marrying someone from his social circle worked out really well the first time.”
“You know what I mean,” I said, shifting restlessly on the lounge chair.
“Let me tell you what I do know,” Raven said, her expression completely serious. “As you’re already aware, I’ve lived two separate lives, one with money, and one without, so I know what it’s like to have those insecurities. I was adopted into the Kane family, but I was never embraced by a mother who should have loved me regardless of who I am. I was raised with all the luxuries money could buy, but was never accepted in the way I craved but rather made to feel like I was a burden, not to mention responsible for Lance’s behavior when he assaulted me the first time, when I was a teenager.”
I held back a reaction because I knew the story and understood it was a sensitive one for Raven.
“What I do know,” she went on, “and learned from Cassandra and Lance, is that money and wealth doesn’t give you integrity. It doesn’t give you morals or decency. You could be dirt poor or filthy rich, but if you don’t have those core values, then what kind of person are you? You’re someone like Cassandra, or Alyssa, who is self-centered and a bitch who has to put others down to feel better about themselves.”
Raven’s gaze suddenly softened as she continued. “Then you have men like Caleb, and Remy, who are honorable, ethical, and dependable. Men who don’t judge a person for things that are out of their control, like my past with Lance, and yours with your father. They don’t give a shit about those things when it comes to the women they care about.”
I swallowed hard, Raven’s words resonating deep inside of me.
“There are always going to be insecure women like Alyssa who will try to bring other women down,” she went on. “All that should matter to you is what Caleb thinks, and I already know by the way he looks at you and treats you, he’s crazy about you. Now, it’s up to you to believe that you’re enough for him just as you are, that you deserve a man who makes you happy, no matter his social standing, without any doubts or insecurities getting in the way of your happiness.”
My heart pounded in my chest as I realized that was exactly what I was doing. Allowing my feelings of inadequacy to keep me from taking that final leap of faith with Caleb. To trust that a man like him, who’d already proven himself in so many ways, would love me just as I was.
Even though I had no alone time with Caleb, Raven’s advice stayed with me for the rest of the afternoon and evening, and through to the next morning when everyone met down in the restaurant for brunch to celebrate Owen’s seventh birthday. As our small group was led to a more private area of the dining room, Caleb smiled at me and placed a hand low on my back as we walked in that direction—not because it was expected, but because I knew it was something that was just instinctual for him, and because he wanted to touch me, to let me know he cared despite the fact that I’d pulled back due to my insecurities and fears.
Feeling as though I’d made some kind of mental and emotional breakthrough after my conversation with Raven the previous day, I was anxious to talk to Caleb, to tell him that I didn’t want us to be over after the custody case. Here in the Hamptons, with Owen and family around, it wasn’t the place to have that discussion, but I was prepared to fight for all the things Caleb had silently offered me—protection, a safe space, and the kind of emotional security I’d never had before. He’d given me all those things, and so much more, and I’d be a fool to let my pride get in the way of something so special and rare. And I needed to tell him that I wanted us, that I wanted him, and everything that came with being a part of his life.