Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
And because today is the worst, Parsnip escapes into the hall the moment I open the door. I deflate. “I hate my life.”
I shove all my shit inside the apartment, flip the safety so I don’t have to struggle to get back in, and spend the next ten minutes trying to corral Parsnip. “If Flip was here, you’d be all over him like a freaking catnip toy,” I gripe. Eventually he tires of being chased and returns to the apartment.
“You’re an asshole,” I tell him as he trots down the hall.
He just meows.
My phone rings again with a call from my dad. I let it go to voicemail. I can’t deal with my own feelings currently, let alone anyone else’s.
But I still listen to the message.
“Hey, sweetie, it’s your dad. I’m sure you already know that. I just wanted to check in. Your mom’s worried about you. So am I. I know you’re an adult, but this uh…it has to be a lot for you. If you need anything, prepared meals, groceries, anything at all, just call. I miss you. Send me a message when you get this. Love you lots, Tally-Bear.”
I drop into a heap in the hall and let the tears spill over.
My phone buzzes again.
It’s Flip. They’ve been away for four days, and I miss him so much.
I hold the phone up in front of my face to unlock it and read the new message.
Flip
Back in Toronto! Just finished picking up a couple of things and heading to you now. How’s it going?
Tally
Great!!!!
Flip
What’s wrong?
I’m sure the excessive exclamation marks tipped him off.
Tally
Everything is fine. I accidentally hit the exclamation mark four times.
Flip
It’s the thumbs-up that makes me question your honesty. Do I need to video call you?
If he sees my face, he’ll know I’m lying, so I give him some honesty.
Tally
I got a shitty mark on an assignment.
Which would be fine, but it’s worth 20% of the course mark.
Flip
Can you talk to your professor? Can you make changes and resubmit?
Tally
Maybe.
I don’t know where I’ll find the time to revise it, but if I don’t, and I get another crappy mark in this class, I could lose my spot on the dean’s list.
I should stop texting, but now that I’ve started, it’s like a waterfall of worries pouring out of my fingertips. And I keep hitting send.
Tally
Fenna called me crying.
She’s all my mom has, and Ties is never home, and he’s starting university this fall.
She asked if I’m moving home when I’m finished.
What if I don’t finish?
What if I tank my exams, and my final assignments? What if my next performance was like my last one and I shit the bed on that too and I have no job prospects?
Like you’re going to want to be with someone who doesn’t have their shit together.
And why can’t people mind their own damn business?
The social media stuff is a lot. I looked and I know I shouldn’t have, but it’s too late.
Why does everyone need to know everything about our relationship?
I don’t know how you deal with it.
I feel like I’m drowning in all this worry.
I probably shouldn’t have said that.
Oh God.
I’m coming off as clingy and needy.
I don’t want to be either of those things.
Can you just erase all these without reading them?
I feel sick as I read them over. I’m falling apart, and now Flip has a front row seat through text messages. Why would he want a girlfriend who can’t keep it together, not even in text messages? I don’t want to be the kind of person who can’t handle it when things get hard.
Flip
You’re not clingy or needy, kitten.
Everything you’re feeling makes sense.
OMW. Be there soon.
Parsnip comes down the hall and curls up in my lap. I let him sit there for a few minutes before I drag my ass off the floor. Flip pokes his head in the door while I’m sweeping stuff back into my bag.
“Tally?” The rest of his body follows, and he flips the latch behind him, letting the door fall closed. Parsnip abandons me to rub himself on Flip’s legs. Flip is wearing a suit and holding his travel bag, plus flowers and cookies from my favorite bakery.
He sets the bag on the floor, and the cookies and the flowers on the side table and opens his arms. “You have a rough day, kitten?”
I step into them and press my face against his chest. “I’m a hot mess.”
“Sounds like maybe you have a good reason.” He hoists me up.
I wrap myself around him and cling to him like a burr and lose the battle against the tears.
He grabs the cookies and his bag and carries me to my bedroom. Parsnip follows on his heels, meowing loudly.
Flip deposits his bag on the floor and the cookies on the nightstand. Then he sits on the edge of my bed with me still wrapped around him. “Let it all out.”