Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
“Boy, you’ve been a hot topic the last few months,” he notes as I scribble my name, who I’m visiting, and my phone number and email on the sheet.
“Yeah.”
“Gurdy will be happy to see you’re alive. There were some bets floating around about you maybe disappearing and your coach being the reason.”
“It’s still not out of the question. If I go missing, have them search his house for the murder weapon. But it’ll probably be my hockey stick and he’ll likely put it through a woodchipper.”
“That’s oddly specific.”
“It was last night’s nightmare.” I hold my fist out. “Stay cool.”
“As a cucumber.”
I leave him and go in search of my favorite retirement home grandma. Mine are long passed, so Gurdy is a beautiful stand-in. I feel shitty that I haven’t been keeping up my regular visits.
I find her in the common room, which is typical. Gurdy is a social butterfly and loves being in the middle of all the action. She knows all the tea. Who’s dating who, who gave who chlamydia, who the hound dogs are.
“I was wondering when you’d show up.” Gurdy holds out her hands and I help her to her feet. She’s all of five foot one and could probably fit in one of my pant legs.
Her white hair is permed. Her gnarled fingers soft, the skin thin and delicate. I try to picture Tally as an old lady. She’ll have sore feet, and all my joints will ache from hockey. We’ll need a hot tub. If she stays. If she doesn’t break up with me.
Gurdy doesn’t let go of my hand once she’s standing. I bend so I can link our arms.
“I’m sorry I’ve missed a couple of dates.”
“You’ve been busy.”
“It’s no excuse.”
“It’s every excuse. You’re young and you should be living your life, not hanging out in retirement homes with people who smell like they’re two weeks away from being underground.”
“I love hanging out with you,” I argue. “You have insight and perspective I don’t.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to make mistakes.”
“What does that say about me since I’ve been making so many lately?”
“Seems like your mistake was made a long time ago, based on everything I’ve been reading. Also seems like that ex-wife of yours maybe broke her NDA.”
“I don’t know that I want to pursue that. It would mean dealing with her again.”
“The problem with the skeletons in the closet is that eventually those doors get opened and they fall out.”
“I’m learning that the hard way.”
Gurdy makes a hard right. “Your girlfriend is beautiful.”
“Isn’t she stunning?” My heart swells and then aches.
“Is her heart just as beautiful?”
“Yeah. She’s incredible. I’m afraid she’s going to leave me,” I admit.
She makes a noise and hands me her key. I unlock the door and hold it open for her. She heads for the table where the cribbage board is already set up. Like she was expecting me. “There’s some contraband scotch in the bottom cupboard. Get out two glasses.” She waves to her tiny kitchen and sits in one of the cushioned chairs. “What makes her incredible?”
“Everything. She’s smart, driven, talented, compassionate, fun.”
“You love her.”
“I love her.”
“But you didn’t tell her about the ex-wife.”
“I didn’t tell her about the ex-wife,” I agree.
“Because you were scared.”
“Yeah.” I pull out two lowball glasses and find the scotch—it’s dusty—and pour us both a shot.
“That’s a weak-ass pour. Do better.”
I add more. Then another splash when she purses her lips. I also pour us both glasses of water and set them all on the table, then join her. The chair is tiny and groans under my weight.
“What are you scared of?” Gurdy asks.
“I’m a headache. I’ve brought Tally nothing but drama.”
“To be fair, Tally knew there would be drama. She’s the coach’s daughter.” She raises a pointed, drawn-on eyebrow.
“She can’t escape my past and neither can I,” I say.
“Stop trying to run away from your shadow, Phillip. It’s attached to you, it won’t leave you alone because it’s part of you. You still haven’t answered the question. What are you afraid of?”
I pick up the deck of cards and shuffle them. “Repeating history.”
“Is Tally anything like your ex, apart from them both being women?”
“No. They’re nothing alike.” I set the deck between us and she cuts, then I cut and we show our cards. “Your deal.”
She shuffles the deck. “So why would you believe that?”
“Because I’m the common denominator. I’m the unchanged variable. What if six months down the line the shine wears off and she decides I’m not the one for her?”
“What if six months from now it’s the opposite? What if you’re exactly right for each other? What if you’re hiding all of her favorite parts of you? Everyone makes mistakes, Phillip. What if you’re making the biggest one by not giving her the true version of you?”