Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
“Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
I don’t know how to read him now, and I’m too stuck in my own feelings to be able to mine through his.
“We can keep driving.” It’s better than sitting here, feeling awkward for having a meltdown on what’s supposed to be the start of our doesn’t-feel-as-fake-as-it-should honeymoon.
“Okay.” He leans over and kisses my temple.
I don’t know if I want to melt into the seat from his casual affection, cry, or jump out of the car and run all the way back to Toronto. All three seem reasonable.
“Talk to me about the Hockey Academy,” I say as we pull back onto the road.
Connor side-eyes me, and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I’m not talking about the fucking sandwich.”
“I think you mean you’re not talking about fucking the sandwich.” This is better. I can handle verbal sparring, just not all the feelings that come from talking about my own past.
He huffs.
“Seriously, though. I’m not asking about the sandwich. And fucking a piece of bread has nothing on the shit Tristan does to Rix,” I mutter the last part.
“I’m sorry, what was that?”
“Nothing.”
“That was not nothing. What does Tristan do to Rix?”
“Like I’m going to give you dirt you could use to piss off Flip.” Although they have been surprisingly cordial with each other lately. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“But you did say something. And pissing Flip off isn’t in my best interest these days.”
“Because it would piss me off also?”
“Because it would upset you, and I don’t enjoy making you unhappy.”
He doesn’t elaborate on his reason for this, so I’m left to surmise on my own.
“I want to hear about your experience at the Hockey Academy,” I press.
“Only if you tell me what Tristan does to Rix.”
“I can’t. It breaks girl code.”
“I can’t tell you about the Hockey Academy because it breaks bro code,” he fires back.
I roll my eyes. “I’m not asking about your feud with Flip. I’m asking about the experience. You must have enjoyed it since you’re still tight with Kodiak and Quinn, and it was more than a decade ago.”
“Kodiak and Quinn are good guys,” Connor agrees. “So are Tristan and Dallas, but they mostly sided with Flip because he’s Flip.” He sighs. “He’s always loved. Even when he does shitty things. And I get it, because he’s a good guy. He came from a tough beginning. He fought to be here harder than most. And being the son of a billionaire put me at a disadvantage at the Hockey Academy.”
“Because the program is highly subsidized,” I say.
“That’s right. My parents could have sent me to the other hockey program I’d been accepted to overseas, but they chose the Hockey Academy instead. They wanted me to understand my place in the world. People believed I’d bought my spot in the program, so I worked hard to prove I hadn’t. But I had a huge chip on my shoulder, and let’s be real, I’m entitled as fuck.”
“It’s hard not to be when you have a literal staff of people taking care of everything for you,” I reply.
“What my parents failed to consider is that I’m used to being on the outside. The Hockey Academy wasn’t any different for me. I wasn’t afraid of losing status, because the only status I had was the result of a family I didn’t fit into anyway.”
He pauses a moment and then shrugs. “When I made the pros I wanted to know what it was like to be normal. I lived in an apartment and figured out how to cook food and do my own laundry. The ultimatum had been set for me. If I didn’t join the family business, my dad would cut me out of the will, and then where would I be? So I went to the Hockey Academy, and I let myself be put in another box. But I played my ass off, and I played the role I thought I deserved. And I hated that I hated Flip because I was jealous.”
“Because he came from nothing, and everyone loved him.” Of course they hated each other.
“He didn’t know what it was like on the other side,” Connor explains. “He didn’t have a clue what it felt like to want for nothing, because he wanted for everything. But he had the one thing I wanted—everyone’s acceptance. People gravitated to him. He saw the good in everyone. And I wanted to be him.”
He shakes his head. “I thought for sure he’d lose his shit over you and me, and he just…proved he’s a stand-up guy.” Connor’s jaw flexes, and he gives me a sidelong glance. “And here I am, acting the hero by offering you financial security so my grandmother doesn’t have to worry about me ending up bitter, angry, and alone. Which is exactly what will happen eventually, just thankfully not while she’s alive to see it.”