Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132951 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 665(@200wpm)___ 532(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
I wait until the rest of the team is out of the showers before I step in. When I’m done, I head up to see Coach Vander Zee. He’s alone in his office when I arrive. He looks tired.
“Have a seat, Connor.”
I take the chair across from him.
He tents his hands, pointer fingers touching. “How are you?”
“I’ve been better.”
He squints, eyes going to my jaw. I know from the mirror in the locker room that it’s already turning purple. “What happened to your face?”
“Just clumsy.”
He arches a brow. “That’s the story you’re going with?”
“Yup.”
He sighs. “The issue with your family must be stressful on top of everything else.”
I shrug. “I have bigger problems.”
“I heard that things aren’t so good at home.”
“From Coach Forrest-Hammer?”
“Yeah.”
“Did she happen to mention how Mildred is doing?” I ask.
“That’s a conversation you should probably have with Lexi, or possibly your wife,” he offers. “I don’t know the story, and I don’t need to, but if you need time off the ice to sort out your personal issues, we can arrange that.”
“I don’t know that time off will fix this,” I admit. It certainly won’t make things with my teammates better.
“You’ve had a lot thrown at you this season.” He doesn’t elaborate. Just lets it hang there.
“Yeah,” I agree. But I made my own bed.
He sighs. “Look, Connor, you’re an excellent player—better than your stats suggest. We brought you to this team because we see the potential in you, and up until last week, this season has been the best of your career. The pressure can be intense, especially when you have conflict coming at you from all sides. You worked your ass off to get here, just like the rest of these boys. I know you’ve felt the need to prove yourself, not just to the team, but to everyone else, too. I don’t envy your position, or what you deal with off the ice. But when shit goes sideways, it’s easy to get caught in the spiral and let it pull you down. If someone offers you a hand, take it, because it can be the difference between staying in the hole you dug or finding a way out.”
I nod. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I’m trying to figure it out.”
“Just take the time, if you need it.”
“Thanks, Coach. I’ll let you know, okay?”
“Okay. Rest up. We’ve got a big game tomorrow.”
I leave his office and head down the hall to Lexi’s. My palms are sweaty by the time I knock on her open door.
She looks up from her computer screen, but doesn’t speak.
“Can I talk to you?”
She motions to the chair across from her.
“As Lexi and not my coach,” I clarify.
She nods.
I cross the room and take the offered seat. “Have you talked to Mildred?”
“Yes.”
“How is she?”
She crosses her arms. “How do you think she is?”
I drop my head, focusing on my wedding band. “I really messed this up.”
“In full Connor form, you absolutely did.” Lexi rubs her belly. “What is it that you’re trying to ask?”
“I don’t know. I just…I want to know if she’s okay.”
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
“Then what would make you think she is?” She shifts in her chair, like she’s struggling to get comfortable. She’s due soon, so I imagine there isn’t a whole lot of room left for that kid or her internal organs. “You can’t mine me for information about Dred,” she says after a moment. “She is my best friend, and I have to protect her and keep her confidence. I’m in a unique position in that I know the details of your arrangement. I also know that the parameters changed drastically over the past several months. You had choices, Connor, ones that could have had a very different result. I think you need to ask yourself why you chose to hurt someone you love in this way, instead of being honest about your feelings.” The furrow in her brow deepens, and she holds up a hand.
I jump out of my chair. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just…I had Braxton Hicks earlier in the week. It’s probably the same thing again.”
“Shit. I’m stressing you out.”
She shakes her head. “I’m fine. I’m just really pregnant.”
“Why don’t I drive you home?”
She grimaces and rubs her belly.
“Please, Lexi. Let me do this for you.”
“Yeah, okay. That would be good.” She pushes herself to standing. “Let me just get my stuff together.”
I help Lexi with her things and walk her to the elevator. I’m struck by the fact that these people who love Mildred and have her best interest at heart aren’t shutting me out the way I did her. And they’re also not pouncing on my weakness the way my father would. Instead they’re reaching to pull me out of the hole I dug. And doesn’t that tell me everything I need to know about the woman I married? She is loved and beloved, and she and everyone around her want to show me I can be too. This is a once-in-a-lifetime gift, and it’s my turn to step up and prove that I deserve it.