Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 147734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 492(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 492(@300wpm)
“Yulian—”
I grab him by the throat and swing him around, shoving him against the bike. “Tell me you love me.”
“W-what?”
“Tell me you have feelings for me. Tell me you feel anything toward me. Just fucking say something.”
His eyes widen, and a muscle flexes in his jaw. “What’s with this all of a sudden?”
I snarl as I drive him against the bike, his elbows buckling under the force. My lips seize his, savage and consuming, teeth biting, tongues clashing in a war of fury. He pushes back, but my grip tightens around his throat, pinning him, dragging another groan from him as I kiss harder, deeper. Every ounce of rage, every scar of pain, every shard of resentment detonates between our mouths in a raw, uncontainable mess.
He mumbles something in my mouth, but I don’t hear it, too lost in my own head to listen to whatever he has to say, biting and sucking and punishing him for not liking me as much as I like him.
It’s been this way from the beginning, from when I smiled at him the first time we met and he glared at me.
We’ve had an unbalanced bond since then. He always stands tall, while I’m the one who takes the burn.
“I said stop!” He shoves me away with a hand to my chest, breathing harshly, his lips all red and bitten.
My own breaths fill the air as I sway in front of him.
He straightens, fixing his bow tie and jacket with jerky movements. “The fuck you think you’re doing, Yulian? We’re in public.”
“Right. Public.” I laugh, and he frowns.
Vaughn removes the cigarette from my hand and squashes it under his shiny shoe. As I watch the ember flicker and die, I don’t know why it feels as if he just smashed my heart.
“What am I to you?” I ask in a low rumble, still looking at his shoes.
“What do you want me to say so you’ll stop whatever you’re going on about right now?”
My eyes slide to his cold ones. “Am I just a fuck buddy? Not even worthy of feelings, like Danika?”
“You and Danika are entirely different.”
“I know. She was your girlfriend. I’m nothing.”
“You’re not nothing, Yulian.”
“Then what the fuck am I?” I raise my voice.
“That’s the second and last time you yell at me, are we fucking clear?” He squares up to me, jamming a finger against my chest. “You’re not the only one who can yell. Know your goddamn place.”
“And what is that, Vaughn?” I ask. “My place, I mean.”
“What the hell do you want me to say?”
“Something. Anything.”
“Well, here’s something.” He stands taller, his voice shrouded in cold control. “We can’t be in a relationship, because our circumstances don’t allow it. We both knew this arrangement was temporary and not going to last, so I’m not sure why you’re acting this way right now.”
“Temporary. Not going to last,” I repeat, releasing a humorless chuckle. “Are those the thoughts you had about us from the beginning? Did that pretty head of yours doom us to an end before we even started?”
“That’s what it is!” It’s his turn to lose his cool, pulling and loosening his bow tie before he releases a breath. “We have duties toward our families. We can’t be together in the long-term, Yulian. You know that.”
“If we can’t be together in the long-term, isn’t it better to stop wasting each other’s time now?”
“That’s not what I meant.” His eyes flash, then his voice softens. “That’s not what I want.”
“Well, tough shit. You don’t always get what you want.” I grab the helmet and shove it on as I hop on the bike and rev the engine.
Vaughn’s hands lock around the handlebars, blocking me in. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I get all of you, or I walk away. I’m done settling for half.”
His lips part to say something, but he seals them again and steps out of my way, like the coward he is.
Fuck him.
I speed out of the parking lot, feeling like I’m about to burst from my skin. I ride for a few hours, feeling the wind, then getting into a fight with a bunch of idiots at the gas station. I hate those places now. He ruined them for me.
My ride goes on and on until I feel like my head is about to explode. I only go back to the hotel around dawn, completely depleted. Need to fly back and let Cy say “I told you so.”
I knew he would be right—Cy is always right—but I let my stupid expectations take over.
When I step into the room, I sense movement. At first, I think it’s Vaughn, but then I register the different footsteps and pull out my gun.
But it’s too late.
Someone hits me upside the head, and as I fall, a thickly accented voice says, “Your father wants to see you, Yulian.”