Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 52440 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52440 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
His confession sets off a detonation in my womb. I cry out as it sparks an explosion that sweeps me away. Waves of bliss crash through my veins, leaving me gasping his name. I stroke my clit, rocking my hips into my hand over and over.
"Nadia," he groans. "Fuck, Nadia."
Another smaller detonation implodes when I hear him grunt in pleasure. He's coming too. I grab the phone with my free hand, pulling it close to my ear, not willing to miss a single second, a single sound. He pants, groaning my name. I squeeze my eyes closed, imagining myself there with him, watching him shake and tremble his way through it. Pretending that it's landing on me, right between my thighs.
God, I want it so bad. Want him so much it hurts.
"Baby," he breathes. "Fucking hell, baby."
"I know," I whisper, collapsing back on the bed with the phone clutched to my ear. My heart squeezes in a vise. "Tell me this is real, Teo. That I'm not dreaming this time."
"It's real, butterfly. We aren't dreaming this time."
I exhale a shaking breath, my throat burning. "I wish you were here."
"Just say the word, baby."
"You'd really come, wouldn't you? If I needed you?"
"The only reason I've kept my distance is because I thought it was what you wanted and what I deserved. But not a goddamn thing on this earth would keep me from you if you needed me," he says softly. "It kills me that you don't know that. I fucked up. I owe you an apology. Am I an asshole for asking you to wait for me to give it to you in person?"
"You don't owe me an apology," I whisper. "We're both at fault, Teo. We both screwed up. We both hurt each other. I thought you didn't show up. You thought I didn't want you there. And phones work both ways."
"I still owe you an apology," he insists. "You thought I chose football over you. I made you doubt yourself. I was a fucking asshole."
"And I was a scared little girl afraid to lose her best friend," I whisper. "Maybe it's time to let the past be the past. Teo, I…"
I open my mouth to ask him why he didn't show up when I was getting psychiatric care, and then snap my mouth closed again. For a long time, I thought it was because he didn't care, but I don't think that right now. I think, maybe, he didn't know. My parents and Zoya didn't tell him because they were trying to protect us both the best way they knew how. And if that's the case, I don't want to hurt him more now.
Eventually, I have to tell him about it. I know that. But…not yet. Not tonight. I just want to find us without the last six years choking us before we ever have a chance to find out who we can be together now. Is that so wrong?
"No, baby. You were never a scared little girl. You were a fierce little goddess, fighting for what you wanted. I just didn't understand at the time that your dreams were never about what you did. They were always about the people you got to take with you along the way."
Tears sting my eyes, my heart pulsing. He finally gets it. I never needed to conquer the world. That wasn't what brought me joy. It was him and my family. They were my happy place. It never mattered what I did with music so long as I got to experience it with the people who mattered.
Even now, when I have what most people only dream about, it's a hollow sort of victory. Because I did it alone. I experienced it alone. My family was there for most of it. But I feel like I did big parts of it in isolation. Simply because he wasn't with me. I love what I do. I love performing and singing. I love my band. But I'd give it all up in a heartbeat for what I really want. Because a life of love? That was the ultimate dream.
It still is. And it feels more possible now than it has in a long time.
Chapter Eight
Teo
"Holy shit." Tyson stops in front of me on the sidelines halfway through practice, doing a double-take. "Are you smiling, motherfucker?"
"Nope," I lie, flipping him off.
He grins at me, flashing his teeth. "Lying prick. You took my advice."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I toss him a bottle of water.
"Uh-huh." He pauses to drink, his eyes locked on my face. "I suppose you also have no idea why your face is all over the news again?"
"No clue," I say cheerfully.
"Right," he says, drawing the word out. And then he laughs, shaking his head. "Good for you, man. It's about goddamn time you figured your shit out."