Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 96720 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96720 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
“I’m not mad,” he said quickly. “I just want to know what arrangements we need to make. And I need time to...you know. Get brave.”
“Get brave? You’ve met my parents before,” I pointed out.
“I know, but not as the guy who’s living with their daughter. Their daughter who is a lot younger than me,” he added grimly.
It was weird, but our age difference didn’t come up between us, almost ever. There was the occasional reference I didn’t get, but when Matt and I were alone, it wasn’t something at the front of our minds.
“Do you think my dad is going to threaten your life or something? Drag Chris Hansen along?” I teased.
“Wow, I haven’t heard that reference in a while,” Matt said.
I pivoted back to the real conversation. “We didn’t set anything in stone. Honestly, I thought they would tell me that they couldn’t come for this or that reason, but my dad is ready to see all the museums, probably the Statue of Liberty. Corny stuff. I can take them around to all of that. And we can get them a hotel—”
“If they want to stay in a hotel. Otherwise, we have the guest suites downstairs,” he reminded me.
It seemed so weird to have houseguests, people visiting full time, round the clock, who never left. Then, I remembered the party at his mom’s house. That scenario wasn’t that odd for his culture, I guessed.
But it wasn’t normal for my kind of people. “The thing is, if they stay here, they’re going to expect to socialize with us the whole time.”
“Of course, we’ll socialize with them. That’s why they’re visiting.”
“No, I meant it’s not going to be like when people come stay as house guests at your mom’s place. It’s not like they’ll get up, have their breakfast in a different room, spend time wandering the lush grounds, and show up only at set times,” I warned him.
He frowned. “We don’t have lush grounds here.”
“Well, obviously.” I threw up my hands. “What I’m saying is, if they stay here, you’re going to get up in the morning and find my dad making himself at home in the kitchen, talking to everyone on staff. My mom will rearrange your bathroom cabinets. She can’t stay out of bathroom cabinets. They’ll come knock on our bedroom door at night and ask if we want the popcorn they didn’t finish after their movie.”
Matt laughed. “You make them sound super codependent.”
“No, it’s how people visit. They would think it was rude to hide away from us. And they would think we were rude if we hid away from them.” And frankly, I wasn’t sure how comfortable I was with the idea of my parents sleeping under the same roof as me and my first serious boyfriend. They weren’t going to overhear anything naughty, because my vagina would seal shut from horror by the time they arrived, but it seemed so weird. Welcome to our home. We fuck here.
I thought back to something my therapist had mentioned. “It’s possible that I’m having difficulty navigating post-adolescence with my parents.”
Matt indicated I should continue with a bob of his head.
“Since I lived at home and had zero responsibility, I’m trapped in a teenage phase with them,” I explained. “It’s exacerbated by their guilt at how I found out about the stem cell situation. They try to protect me by infantilizing me, I try to assert my independence with immature behavior. If they’re here, it’s going to feel like I’m not a grown up with a grown-up boyfriend and a grown-up apartment and a grown-up job.”
“Those things sound a lot more mature and grown up if you don’t preface them with the phrase, ‘grown-up’,” he advised wryly.
“I don’t want to feel like this is all pretend, when I’m doing so well.” Yes, I wanted to see them. Missing them was what prompted the invitation in the first place. But a visit from my parents was like a visit from my old life, if my old life was a blimp that could be crashed directly into my new one. “I don’t want a blimp crash.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“I know you don’t.” I sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. I should have checked with you. Just checking with you about it would have made me realize it was a bad idea.”
“I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” Matt stroked the bare skin of my back, raising goosebumps. “What’s wrong with spending some time with your family? Things have been tense with you and Scott. Things have been tense between me and Scott. Maybe you and me showing them around the city will acclimate them to us. Introduce a new dynamic.”
“And what if it reminds me that I’m a big phony, faking this life?” I hadn’t realized it was a fear until it popped out of my mouth.